u/Kittylover11

I am major struggling with buying the ledger stone for my outdoor bbq. I want a neutral medium gray with a bit of variation. And definitely corners. I’ve found a few options but am not sure if I should go real stone or veneer. Some of the veneers have ratings about crumbling and being terrible.

What are the pros and cons?

Does veneer have the same heat rating as real stone? I assume it can be around a bbq?

Does veneer last well in sun or is stone a better option there?

What brands do you recommend for both?

I’d also love to use adhesive over mortar, but I’m not sure if that’s determined by the product or just more of a preference given how far adhesives have come.

I’d love to use adhesive over mortar for ledger stone. Stickystone seems pretty expensive for what it is especially considering it requires a specific gun.

Any thoughts on this?

Also, what is the take on cement board and red guard with it? Should i forgo red guard or will it adhere just as fine? (We’ll have counter overhang and are in California so it rarely rains for long periods of time, but under the cement board are 2x4 framing so I don’t want moisture there…

My son is about to turn 5 and has been in TK this last year. His teacher has consistently brought up his impulsivity and we’ve been working with a behavioral therapist and the school to provide a lot of structure and support. I’ve also asked for psych evaluation through Kaiser so we have that coming up. He has no issues with focus or academics, it’s just when he gets overstimulated he can get a little wild and he sometimes reacts physically immediately, surprising himself and immediately feeling remorseful. It’s like he has no pause and his teacher is always saying his brain “just fires so fast”.

More recently he’s escalated to being more than just pushy with kids. He’s hit a few kids and last month he stabbed his good friend with a pencil because he was teasing him. It was a hard week the week this happened, with daylight savings and that day in particular they had a sub who wasn’t staying ahead of him the way our teacher does. I got a call and the principal said they had a restorative circle etc. so for me, it seemed downplayed (looking back on it). I’m also a mom to 3 including another boy and they’re just rough… so I tend to lean more towards “kids get hurt..” and I’m also the type to not hover so what happens at school is out of my control, it’s the teacher who is there etc. not to remove accountability here, we’re doing everything we can to try and stop this behavior.

The mom of the kid he stabbed is… difficult. She was texting me at the beginning of the year asking me to ask my son not to pick up her son (he was excited and would hug and pick him up). I felt like this was sort of an overstep because if I were in her position I would’ve taught my son to use his words or get a teacher. So I apologized and said I’d talk to him, she ended up sending a few more texts about how he hates it etc. We later had a play date and it was very apparent we have very different children and very different parenting styles. Her tiny son tripped and she ran to him and proceeded to rock him while he fake cried for a good 10 minutes. I was genuinely embarrassed witnessing it. My son is on the taller side and literally tripped yesterday, scraping his face and was just like “mom I tripped, did you see that?”

His mom is also a SAHM with kids in school, whereas I’m a working mom with 3 kids under 5. I’m in a demanding wfh job and breastfeeding while juggling my kids and nanny schedules. So she doesn’t have a lot going on and seems to fabricate drama. She told me about how clique-y the school is and how she tried joining a circle of moms and one turned her back to her. I took this as she really pays attention to this kind of thing. And then I forgot to text her back at one point about going to this school event and when I saw her there and went to talk to her, she turned her back to me and clearly wouldn’t engage (my husband even saw and was like wtf?)

Along with this, she’s always given unsolicited advice (we’re on the same tball team), telling me to try certain things when my son isn’t cooperating, I declined a play date once on a Friday because he was sick and she responded with “please don’t send him to school Monday then if hes sick”. Just weird overstepping.

All this to say, we’ve never really clicked and I’ve kept my distance because i have zero time or desire to get wrapped up in elementary school mom drama.

Back to the incident- the school did not share who he stabbed just that it occurred. We asked him and he told us who and I considered reaching out but lost track of time. The next day my son came home and told us this kid told him “my mom said I’m not allowed to sit next to you in class, during snack or at lunch and that I need to stay away from you.” He didn’t understand because they’re friends. His teacher even shared this too because she didn’t like that it wasn’t inclusive and said she’d talk to the other mom. At that point I realized nothing I could say would change the fact she’s pissed so I just left it.

This last weekend we had our tball party and I figured maybe enough time had passed so I walked up to her and another mom and asked how they were doing. She gave me a bitchy look and immediately walked away without saying a word. I don’t care to be her friend but given the interaction I felt I needed to reach out so we could at least be civil in these settings. I sent her this text:

Hey, I know there was an incident at school involving [son] and [her kid], and I just wanted to say we’re taking it seriously. I understand if you need space, but after tonight I felt I should reach out so things aren’t uncomfortable at school or activities.

She replied with:

I really wish you would have sent this a month ago when it happened and simply asked if [her kid] was okay. He still has a small hole on his back FYI. I’m glad you are taking it seriously and I really do wish him the best.

We are switching to [different school] next year so you will not need to worry about feeling uncomfortable around us.

I’m honestly really relieved but I also can’t move past this mentally because aside from the whole situation being super sucky, I’m questioning if I did something wrong here and I’m also terrified of this happening again. We’re doing everything we can on my son’s front. My husband thinks she’s just super dramatic seeing how they’re always panicking when their son literally trips. I keep thinking back to when my son was being bit in preschool and I never expected some apology text from the other moms. I was pretty meh about it because it’s what kids do. But maybe I’m not taking this seriously enough idk!

I’d love some input here and guidance on how to best navigate future incidents… it was really hard given how little info we get and I’m not there to really know what goes on.