A stupid, emotional rant.
Folks
I'm sorry imma rant a bit, but the slew of bad news has been overwhelming. Some rants need to be reddit-only, and this is one of those.
So: I move in Jewish queer circles a LOT. Dated a few. I'm a PoC myself, and I get along great with Jewish and Israeli guys - we understand each other's drama, bitch about our mums (love you, mama), and share B'way/opera/theater lore.
I had the opportunity to visit Israel once - but the plan fell apart at the last minute.
I used to be very, very optimistic abt Israel - as in, if a persecuted minority can create such a wonderful space and community, then maybe as queer people, we can too - an Israel of our own where we can find a warm bed, people who understand our trauma, people we can trust. People who'll take us in when our bio families and the outside world reject us and humiliate us, fail to recognize our talents, refuse to nurture us and help us be the best versions of ourselves.
However: that dream is gone.
Don't get me wrong: I still move in Jewish circles, commiserate with my friends when they face antisemitism, but I no longer think we should have an Israel of our own if the cost involves doing stuff that has been done recently. I don't want us to have a nest surrounded by dead bodies.
That's it. That's the rant. Do other people feel this way? People who looked up to Israel, thought IDF really was a moral community within limitations, idealized kibbutzim and communal living?
"Now laughing friends deride
Tears I cannot hide
So I smile and say
When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes."