I just feel like everything feels worse. Mainly because I just get jealous as fuck. Im lucky enough to not work during summer so tend to hide and go out at night. I feel like everyone gets this slap of glow up that doesn't seem to apply for me.
Firstly, why has it taken me so long to find this sub!. Not a big reddit user but I think a lot of my past posts would have been better suited to this sub.
So as the title says- (sorry im too lazy to insert a link) I watched that video, its nearly 2 hours long but wow, was it eye-opening. Has anyone else seen it, what did you think?
What stood out to me for 1 was the experience of her friend in the club and how shocked she was. She never comprehended that other women were experiencing life completely different because they did not have access to the benefits of looks she has. Story of my life and growing up, going out with a group of women, I'm literally always the only one who never gets approached. The last time i went clubbing with a group of women, I even left before them to not have to put myself through that end of the club situation where everyones trying to get to know each other. Even trying to make friends as an adult, I avoid making friends with women who are big into the party scene. It just will not work babe, I may as well just go by myself. I also date women so I've dated women who are gorgeous and again it impacts that. Being on a date and having dudes approach her and then having that awkward moment where they look at you like they could strangle you with their bare hands for not only being a barrier but one they're not attracted to. Its even funnier when they specifically ensure that when giving a compliment, there is no mistake that it is also not for me. You know what realllly used to irk me when I was younger? I really wanted a boyfriend and as any teen would be on social media. You had beautiful/attractive women with so so many comments like "wife material, wifey" ect ect. Just because of how she looks. Don't get me wrong just because I wanted a boyfriend, I did not expect one. I didn't expect anyone to be attracted to me nor did I believe the universe owed me a boyfriend. Im not a pick me and I may have a great personality but in no way do I think that entitles me to a person, man or woman. But it irked me that women who done nothing than exist were considered wifes just because God blessed them.
- gaslighting womens experiences. I have spent years stuck in this confusing cycle. We arent honest with people. At the end of the day we are all living in systems, one of them is a looks based system which means there are people who are beautiful (beneficiaries) and people who aren't (i cant think of an opposite word) but naturally the people who are unattractive/ugly, get disadvantaged. I havent been able to say this in other posts I've made, and obvs I'm bias but it is in my opinion harder to be an ugly woman than it is a man.
-it being a vanity, self concious thing and you just need to gain confidence and improve your self esteem. If I had a penny for how much I've heard this throughout my life, I'd have bought a new face and body and be touring with Drake instead of making this post. It goes deeper than that, I have to carefully exist. An example how people treat me, I'd say mostly men. Because im not attractive to them, I either don't exist, which is ok for the most part but it makes interactions awkward when they do happen. Its like its a literal workout for them to treat me or see me like a human being.
The video for me was so validating and I'm glad it was made by a good looking black woman as im the oppsite, so it was interesting to see a woman who looks like friends I've had in the past who don't understand speak on this. On tiktok when unattractive/ugly women make posts talking about their experience, they are shut down so I hope her video brings awareness to the reality.
Additional question: do you think there are any benefits to being ugly?
I.d say one for me is the lack of catcalling. I don't have that worry when I go out that I'll be approached or hollered at by the builders when I walk past ect. I can go to a bar or place and no one will bother me.
Ok im out bye.