Ex w/ BP pulled away suddenly after amazing start
Hi all, I dated someone with bipolar disorder and the relationship started very intensely. For the first month we were together constantly, understood each other really well, and talked seriously about marriage, kids, and the future. Then she suddenly pulled away for about a week, became much quieter, took a few days off work, and eventually told me she was having a really hard time mentally and didn’t have the capacity to continue a relationship.
We tried being friends, but I realized I was too emotionally attached and suggested no contact. She was hurt that I seemed to only see her romantically, so I tried friendship again, but it stayed confusing, especially when she asked if I’d be okay if we never dated again.
We eventually went back to no contact with me reaching out when ready. She broke it to ask about playing games with mutual friends, then apologized and said I should reach out when ready. I said it was okay and we talked normally that week. She then had a bad depressive episode and stayed at my place. The following week she bailed on the game, stayed with me again that weekend, and then told me her therapist thought she should stop talking to me, which blindsided me because I’d been the one trying to create distance. I told her reach out if she needed anything and now we're back in no contact.
She also encouraged me to use dating apps and move forward. I recently saw her on one of the apps saying “looking for friends,” which hurt more than expected. I’m not blaming her. I still care about her, but part of me is thinking, “What just happened?” For people with bipolar disorder or partners of someone who has it: does this intense closeness followed by suddenly losing capacity for the relationship sound familiar? How do you separate genuine feelings from what may have happened during an episode?
Do you think she is going to stay away because of the therapist advice now?
Thank you in advance for anyone who actually read through that.