Rambling about alloromantic friends and feelings of being isolated
imma just.. share something thats been on my mind today
maybe its because im in this weird position of being the resposible one in my friend group, even though we are close in age, since we started living together i have been put in this 'parent' like role, which is fine, i kinda grew to like it
so, they are allo romantics, they wanna date and marry, the whole experience, which also fine, im super happy to just be along for the ride.. what got me to write this today tho is how they are about talking abt sex and their romance endeavors lol
i dont get it!! i know they talk among each other about these things like normal, but they dont tell me anything, but in the rare ocasions it happens, idk.. they turn into teenagers giddy about doing something 'wrong'
does that make sense? lol
and i cant help but feel like i am being kept out of the loop, like... just speak normal to me damn it lol
i am aroace but i am also a nsfw artist and i work with porn, and they know about it, i dont get why they gotta be secretive about it with me...... i think about sex too you know, i just dont like people close, i could very well join the conversation! lol
idk if its because im aro or because im the parent like figure that they act like that
this not exactly a rant bacause im not mad about this, im not sad about it ...it just feels weird? lol
but when i think about it, 'sex'/'romance' is just one more topic i dont belong to(?), as a non binary i never felt welcome in the girl groups or the boy groups, and im also not gonna be invited(?) to conversations like 'oh my date went like this' or 'cant stop thinking abt person X they are so dreamy' or 'im planning my wedding yay'........ feels like im on a road to isolation, i dont wanna be a hermit !!
( ; ω ; )