Have you fallen out with people over their racism?
My partner recently fell out with his best friend of almost 20 years. For context my partner had gone over to his friend’s house and made a comment saying ‘the racists have made their way here with the flags’ (the UK flags which have become a symbol used by the far-right). The friend in question then began a rant - first stating that they’re ‘fucking sick of them’. My partner at first thinking he meant he was sick of seeing the flags, but he clarified he meant ‘immigrants’. Went into a whole rant of how they are given all these ‘freebies’. They referred to family member being ‘homeless with 6 kids’ whilst referencing two of our other friends (one of whom is Muslim) how their families ‘got a council house’. Said that ‘unless you are born and bred here, you shouldn’t be here, simple as that.’ My partner obviously challenged him and a whole argument kicked off. My partner ended up walking out of his house as he was so angry. It strikes a different nerve that he also used two people we know well and are good friends with to come with this vile rhetoric.
After my partner left, the friend went on a tangent over text trying to justify his ‘reasons’ (racism), accused my partner of not accepting others opinions and tried to spin a narrative of my partner saying his family member deserves being homeless. May I add the friend had not once in 20 years ever mentioned a family member being homeless, including in conversations that were had about the homeless crisis in the UK - so this was a very odd thing to say suddenly. It was absolute madness. My partner tried to educate him over text but due to the personal attacks that started he gave up, told him he wasn’t friends with racists and that was it. They haven’t spoken in months. I can tell my partner is sad about the situation, particularly because this came out of nowhere and they were very close. He thought he knew his friend. I will add the friend comes from a racist family, but we thought they were more selfless, humane and had a level of their own thinking. They not once implied they were racist themselves, but I guess you never truly know someone do you? The crazy thing is it’s like how did he expect my partner to react? The friend knows my partner isn’t the type to keep his mouth shut and will always stand up for what’s right. Now as time goes on we both just get less sad and more angry about the friend and feel glad we have cut them off.
Has anyone else had these kinds of situations happen? How did you deal with falling out with someone you thought you trusted over racism?