u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES

Hey! We (Lilith, Jameson, & Xyler) are looking for a 4th roommate to join our cozy lil home in Windsor Hills. As soon as September 1st (or really August 23rd when our current roomie heads out), we’ll have a spot open up!

We’ve got a shaded front porch, a hammock that’s basically my office, a fenced yard, and a bonus sunroom we turned into a plant nook / reading lounge.

Your rental situation: you get the top of our bunk bed in the water heater closet up front for $950/month + $200 utilities

It’s tight but private, has a little shelf, curtain, fan, and outlet for your stuff. If you need a full bedroom, this ain’t it, but if you’re cool with cozy, it’s the cheapest rent you’ll find anywhere near here.

About us: I’m Jameson and I work at Amazon in the Domain (nerd proud!), Lilith teaches transgender/non binary art to 3rd graders and DJs at OCH on the weekends, and Xyler is our bike mechanic / courier who never stops tinkering! We’re laid-back, LGBTQ@1+ friendly, fent frendly, and love cooking together on our portable camp stove doubles as our heater!

Our pitbull, Goose, is a total sweetheart who such an affectionate sweetheart and simply cannot stop mauling children. Thankfully, I am prohibited by state law from being within 300 yards of a child so Goose is basically harmless!

We’re looking for someone respectful, clean-ish, communicative, and down for a creative, community-minded home. If you think that you're they/them, send me a DM and tell me a little about yourself. Can’t wait to meet ya! 🌿✌️

***OUTJERKED BY r/austinhousing***

I pregamed at Chili's on 45th and Lamar before going to chicas bonita's. Then out of nowhere, at 1:50, the lights came on and they started shoving everyone out of the bar. What is going on? I have never seen a bar anywhere in Texas that kicks people out right before 2:00 a.m. this is literally fascism for them to do this without asking for consent.

This is gay

Where can I walk in Austin at night as a trans racial POC male and look suspicious?

Backstory...Since moving here a year ago as a POC-identifying male (white to black) who wears a ski mask and black sweatsuit, I’ve struggled to find places where I can walk at night and have bleach demons stare at me, telling me to “not come any closer” or call the police. I want to truly live the black experience, and nobody is being racist to me! I want to feel like a real victim, and Austin is failing me in my search for this experience.

There have been 27 such isolated incidents where I have been literally IGNORED by ypipo. In fact, everyone just smiles and says "hello" to me without any fear!

Does anyone know of any diverse neighborhoods/areas I can walk in without fearing as if I’m perceived as a just another white liberal with mental health issues?

I usually work throughout the day at Starbucks. which is why I ask about walking at night. Especially with this summer heat, evening/night is the best time to walk.

Before you are overwhelmed with the urge to post *"there are emergency vehicles on my screen, anybody know what's going on?"* please consult this informative piece to help you differentiate between the types of common emergency scenes in the Austin area---The metroplex with nearly 2 million residents.

I am really tired of the microaggrssions of these entitled members of the Austin male patriarchy! Why are all the finance bros spamming my DMs looking for #girlcock. Just because I am a beautiful they/them does ***NOT*** mean I want to sleep with you!

Bonus points if you post a picture on Facebook of Joaquin Phoenix's Joker character or a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle with quotes about how "loyal but dangerous" you are.

Open your doors to the downtrodden, marginalized unhoused persons!

Alternatively it's because you're built like a busted can of biscuit dough

Beautiful 7×4 storage closet in domain area for rent! All bills paid. For an extra $120 per month I will also install a prison type sink/toilet combo for your convenience in the closet. Serious inquiries only

Since we are on the topic of security guard cringe, this is another Texas company which comes across my feed. Their company owner is a self-appointed "Director", and they basically LARP as a government agency. Don't be fooled, it's a security company.

They post the most mundane shit on their Facebook page and sensationalize the tone of the encounter like they're engaged in acts of dangerous heroism every day.