u/LDonduty

My past follows me into my future……
If I was a genre of music i would be shoegaze
If I was a song I would be star roving OR eyes be closed by washed out

goodnight

The fuck am I supposed to do?? Its 22:30pm and im exhausted and sitting at her house waiting for her to go buy the test from a pharmacy 20 mins away in the fucking rain. She just went through a mental breakdown because she had intense sex with her married boss (she regrets it and is paying the price ie: he fired her because the wife found out :))))) )

We spent the whole day crying and me comforting her and we had a drink in the evening and she strated to faint….called a taxi, cane home and she realised “what if im pregnant?” God help me because if she is IDK WHAT THE FUXK WE DO…..

Crying freaking out for her as I myself am so mentally exhausted and heartbroken for my own reasons……

Just needed to let this out

Update: she’s not pregnant. Thank goodness…..

I was kind of dating a guy- the first one in TWO YEARS, who approached me himself, who checked almost all my boxes, super accomplished in a very inspiring way (genuinely adore what he’s created), sexy and cool. Well guess what, a few weeks in he chickend out saying that he would end up hurting me because he was in a detached headspace and wasnt looking for anything deep and structured and is prone to disappearing.

Lo and behold because im a fuckass and I also didnt like him that much at that point, we just decided to wing it. Lovely time together until he flew to another country for 2 weeks and ever since he came back theres been a distance amongst us. Hes also been crazy busy, and is in and out of the country all the time - but WOW all I perceive is distance ! And now I like him more ! Ofc :))))

The distance (or perceived) is torture. I want to sit him down and ask him wtf, but I cant even do that now can I ? Because he’ll just tell me he warned me from the start (so true).

I also dont want o just leave it like this, we had a lovely connection and it sucks that its this way. I wish i didnt give a fuck! Would be so much more dignified than whatever im trying now!

I ran into him today and said “see you!” while he was running to have dinner with his mom. I regret saying so…..

Pain pain pain my anxious heart feels nothing else

Im a black / brunette haired girl and I was sitting with my 3 blonde friends when a group of some bachelor party came up to us and literally said “can the three of you blonde girls take a picture with us and the groom? Um…not you though. We need the pretty women.” I was so dumbfounded by the blatant exclusion…..haha

Of course my friends told them to fuck off but wow europe is so so fun as a brown girl

today I asked God or any powerful body to give me a sign what to do in regards to my situation with this guy. And now I just sat across from his stunning ex whos so beautiful. So am I. Maybe I should fuck her instead. I would!

But ngl feeling a bit inadequate