My sister in law has a “I’m the favorite” complex…
I’ve been married to my husband for almost 15 years now. He has an older brother and younger sister. The family is close and family gatherings happen every month to celebrate birthdays/anniversary. I honestly love it as I didn’t come from a very close family. In the beginning sister inlaw would make small once in awhile statements of her being the family favorite as a joke/punchline. However almost 15 years later it’s evolved into something more and it’s worn out it’s funny and dipping into cringe/annoying as she brings it up at every gathering more than once now. She even bought her parents “my daughter is the best” and “awesome like my daughter” shirts. Her brothers just eye-roll and don’t give it attention. I do the same…until the 4th of July gathering this year. My father in law wore “awesome like my daughter” shirt after getting out of the lake and as I was talking and joking with him about all the inflatables he had to blow up, then my sister-in-law comes up, points to his shirt and says “this says daughter. Not daughter in law.” I was very confused and my father inlaw just chuckled and I just looked at both of them with a smirk and let the awkwardness hang in the air then I walked away. Told my husband what happened and he wasn’t shocked. We, along with his brother don’t know how to handle the situation so we just let in hang there and let her have her moment she craves. But it’s at the point we don’t want to be around my husband’s parents or his sister and family because it feels like a competition with everything including our kids now.
I will give her credit, she is involved with helping or hanging out with many of the individual family members. She has even helped me out on a few occasions. Love her to pieces but maybe this is normal sibling dynamics? I only have an older brother and we are estranged since my teen years. So maybe this is normal but how can I possibly gently but firmly tell her to calm down with the remarks and competition vibe she is giving off now? The older family members just chuckle when she says this stuff but I’m almost 40 and it’s just not funny to a handful of us anymore. I feel like one little clever comeback in front of a few people will knock off this complex she seems to have.
Will mention I am the only daughter in law. Husbands older brother is divorced, no kids and sister in law has a husband and two kids under 8. While my kids are 19 and 12. Not sure if that paints the full picture. At times I feel like maybe I’m just being annoyed because pre menopause but I can’t even have a conversation with my father/mother inlaw without being reminded sister inlaw is the favorite? Am I being crazy for feeling this way and just shrug it off? Is this just normal to go on for years? Or am I justified to believe this is a bit nutty?
Would also like to add that Everytime I post anything positive about my kids in the family chat, sister inlaw has to follow up with something of her kids right after or sarcastically make a comment about whatever I’m sharing. I don’t usually talk or add anything to the chat other than a positive update maybe 2-3 times a month and on everyone else’s updates or comments I usually do a thumbs up or heart emoji because there are 27 family members in this chat. It’s what most of the family does to acknowledge 95% of the updates unless someone is asking a question. The last thing I posted was my youngest getting 3 school achievement awards and her comment was “It’s just middle school.” But again, I feel like this whole complex is weird and I don’t understand. Is it me? Or am I normal to feel this way. The family makes it seem normal behavior. I don’t know how to process this right now.