"You're an adult, your parents cant control you, just move out!"
I'm a 26 year old female. Diagnosed with Aspergers and OCD. Sorry if this is the wrong sub. I wouldn't necessarily say my mother is a narcissist but she's incredibly neurotic and in denial of that.
The level of control she has over me at 26 is deeply inappropriate. For example, she made me download Life360 to track my movements and when I deleted it she got upset and still brings it up.
Whenever I started my new job I told her I don't work on Tuesdays now and she's recently asked her manager of her own job if she now can also not be scheduled in on Tuesdays.
She tells me not to walk outside with headphones. I just ignore her.
Wherever we went to spain she wouldn't allow me to go anywhere by myself or even with my sister without her. She thought I'd be kidnapped.
If I'm meeting friends after work she'll text and phone me to ask where I am, if I've met up with them ect until I tell her I've met up with them. My sister is friends with my friends so usually she tags along and if I don't answer her she asks my sister if I'm there yet. My sister doesn’t see a problem with my mother's actions so she plays along with her.
Some of this may sound like she's just being concerned but again keep in mind I'm 26. My peers from school at this point are all independent, many of which with kids of their own.
I can't relate to people. I've never dated, I don't watch TV, I don't make many everyday decisions for myself.
At one point my mother did have a self aware conversation with me and said she felt guilty that I've never dated or had a boyfriend and she blames herself because of how sheltered I am. I don't think I'll ever see this level of self awareness from her ever again but she does seem at least distantly aware that it's an issue.
I hate when people say "you're an adult. Just tell her to screw off and move out!". As if it's that easy. My mother has spent 26 years crippling me. I have been spending every weekend looking on propertypal trying to find a flat for a single renter but the market is brutal and I need to get a few things in order before I move out. Hopefully by the end of this year at the latest I'll have at least moved out.