u/Late_Priority_9927

Honestly, if a girl with whom I'm on the early dating stages flakes on me, pulls away or even ghosts me, I usually just brush it off and keep moving onto the next one. I mean, it doesn't even happen that much but, when it does happen, my life feels unchanged and I don't really care that much about it.

However, I do expect much better from any girl with whom it feels as if we're already half-way into establishing a relationship or, even more so, with whom a relationship has already been established. In such cases, I do admit I will feel some frustration, confusion and sometimes even anger whenever they suddenly pull away and disappear for days-weeks, with no explanation given (or just soft explanation BS at best, after the fact).

Now, I know better than to ever vent towards them, but I can't deny that I do feel those negative feelings.

Does me still experiencing such negative feelings under such circumstances means I'm not there yet into becoming a 3% man? And do you think it's healthy to ever voice your frustrations, but in a calm manner, with her? I guess when she's your girlfriend, good communication is a must, but if a girl is not yet your girlfriend, then they sometimes will use as an excuse the fact that, indeed, she's not yet your girlfriend for you to be expecting better from them.

Okay, so at the end of last year, I randomly sent a follow request to a stranger cute girl on instagram, and she decided to accept my follow request and to also follow me back. I noticed at the time she was also following a girl I had met on tinder, and with whom I've had a random but hot hook up earlier that year (after telling me she only was interested in friendship with me, haha). Anyway, as it turns out, it seems the instagram girl and the tinder girl were actually somewhat close friends, appearing together in stories and such but, by the time I "matched" with the instagram girl, I was no longer on speaking terms with the tinder girl.

I sent the instagram girl a text sometime later, and we began texting back and forth. It wasn't long before we began talking about meeting each other IRL, and she seemed to be on board with that. However, when I finally asked her out, she ghosted me and I didn't hear back from her. Not only she ghosted me, she stopped watching the few stories I share on instagram. She was completely gone.

I wasn't too invested yet, so I was okay with that, and left things like that. I also noticed the tinder girl (meaning her friend) had removed me entirely from her instagram. My reaction to that was "oh, bummer. Anyway...", but I do suspect both outcomes may have been related to each other.

A few weeks ago, my beloved cat passed away. I was so sad, that I decided to post a story in her memory. To my surprise, that instagram girl who I thought was gone, replied to that story with a heart emojie and such, and I simply replied with a "Thank you, and hope you're doing great!".

Given that things have been somewhat dry for me lately in the dating world (though not as dry as they were a month ago), I was wondering if it might be worth it trying to reignite things with her now that she has signaled her presence once again or would that be me disrespecting myself and being weak and pathetic? I don't feel disrespected or anything by her earlier disappearance, and I kinda get it tbh, given that I had a prior sexual encounter with one of her close friends. But just because I'm not red pilled or anything, doesn't mean I also would want to engage in the sort of behavior that may go against my own dignity as a man.

So, a while ago I wrote a post asking for advice on how to approach girls at the gym.

I still haven't decided to approach anyone there since it took a few months for me to fully commit to the gym and to find my rhythm. Now I'm going to the gym each workday after work, from Monday to Friday, following a well established weekly routine, and it feels great.

I have noticed how most hot girls who I walk by will usually avoid making eye contact with me and simply keep moving on. I'm not really sure if that says something about my possible lack of current physical attractiveness (though in my opinion I'm a good looking guy) or if that's simply how most girls have taught themselves to behave at the gym (avoiding most guys unless they are their coaches or their acquaintances).

Sometimes, however, I will find myself working out next to a hot or very nice looking girl, and at some point my instinct is to turn and try checking them out and maybe enjoy the view a bit, haha, but usually when I try this I frequently find they are already staring at me, with their eyes locked on me (sometimes even with sort of crazy eyes, if they are in the middle of a tough rep or whatever).

So when this happens I will try simply smiling at them (but I'm not always able to do so), sometimes they will smile back and sometimes they won't. Do you think this is part of the normal female behavior at places like the gym? And is it possible that these are signals for me to approach them at some point or is that just wishful thinking?

I remember one of my exes used to claim I wasn't really interested in her because I never watched any of her whatsapp stories. That's because back when I met her, I was fully in my center and really couldn't be bothered by any of that social media shit (and it probably played a part in her growing so attracted to me back then, even if she felt offended by me never watching her stories).

Then, about a year and a half ago, this other girl had me ghosted for several months. I was so far off my center back then that, through out her whole ghosting phase, I don't think I skipped a single one of the few instagram stories she shared (and even worse, I would sometimes post stories, just hoping to somehow stay in her radar). So, as you can see, I was behaving like a total bitch, and that likely only prolonged her ghosting period. Looking back on it, I think she probably was aiming some of her stories towards me as well, but that only means me watching them only contributed to her ghosting.

The paradox, though, is that she eventually reached out by reacting to one of my stories, and we soon began dating again. Not only that, but those random stories I kept posting with her in mind, would sometimes attract the attention of some other girls, and I ended hooking up with a few of them as a result of that, haha.

So, in the end I really don't know if watching their stories is good or bad. I do think posting a story or 2, every other week, can be an interesting tool to generate attraction (but, if done incorrectly, it can do just the opposite).

It's not a large roster I must confess, just 3, 4 girls. Still, it's really not a nice feeling, to stop feeling desired by all of them at pretty much the same time.

I guess I must be giving off the wrong vibes at the moment, and this is probably the best time to refocus, keep working on myself, improving my situation and meeting more girls. I'm not astray though, I'm doing fine at my job and have some clear objectives (though this month money will be pretty tight, because of some unexpected things).

I honestly feel motivated at the moment to achieve all that, but at the same time I do feel enough anxiety, since I'm pushing forties and I'm still a bit far away from the man I've always wanted to be. I also fell off with my closest male friendships (after they disrespected me over a year ago), but gained a couple of female friendships and such (that feels a bit weird, haha).

Anyway, if anyone has any advise or experiences on how to get through times like this while not becoming a simp of the girls I was dating, I'm all ears.