Sudden voice dysphoria
On the phone, english is my second language.
I've been om T for almost 3 years and are generally happy with my results, I feel much better mentally and pass most of the time. I've never really liked my voice, but it never felt like a super big problem.
Earlier this week me and my husband where smoking some weed and talking nonsens, and suddenly I felt a viceral reaction to hearing my own voice, that I never felt before. I had to take a moment and my husband that I couldn't talk due to dysphoria. I chalked it up to the weed and we ended the night waching a movie.
But the issue is that the voice dysphoria is still there. I feel such a shame and anxiety opening my mouth, especially talking to other men.
I just stopped therapy(my alotted meetings ran out) and I really feel a would like to talk this through with my therapist. Maybe I'm extra sensitive right now because my therapy ended, a lot of the work have was about me being unable to express my needs and wants and not feeling worthy doing it. So it could be a case of cosmic humor that I now feel so uncomfortable with my own voice.
Going to private therapy or a voice coach is not doable economically, and I know I just have to deal with it until I've gotten my official diagnosis. Wich will take at least 1,5 year at this point.
Maybe I just needed to vent a bit, but if anyone want feel free to hit me with advice om hove to handle this.