Should I not go to my parents for Christmas this year?
For context, my husband and I for the last 6 years have done a round robin on Christmas. We spend Christmas morning together, then the afternoon at my parents, and the evening at his parents. By the time we get home, it’s practically time for us to get into bed, as I have work the next day most years.
This year I will, again, have work the next day. My in laws have moved to the city and are no longer close enough to easily visit the day of. So my husband and I thought that this year maybe the parents can come to us for a change. We finally have a larger house which is perfect for hosting. And both of our parents are retired or have enough flexibility with work to make the time to come see us. Not surprisingly, because they love any opportunity to come see us, my in laws are totally on board with this idea! My parents, however, do not seem thrilled about it.
Both my mom(66) and dad(68) are retired and spend most of their days at home enjoying the slower pace of life. They are perfectly healthy, mobile, and able to easily drive themselves places whenever they feel. I brought this idea up to my mom the other day, and she seemed a touch adverse to it. She said “if you had kids then I would understand ,and come do Christmas at yours in a heartbeat. But you two haven’t earned it yet” I think she was slightly joking because she said it while smiling, but she never explicitly said she was in or would do it.
I tried to save the awkwardness (because I hate when she brings up kids) by saying they could come in the afternoon and the in-laws could come in the evening if that sweetened the deal (My parents are pretty introverted and they have opposing ideals to my in laws so it’s rare they’re in the same room together). All she said was she’d talk to dad and think about it, and then made a joke like “you guys are still young and spry! Give me a grandkid and then I’ll come over your house all the time.” The way the conversation was left has me doubting that they’ll do it.
I don’t feel like it’s fair to expect us for the 7th year in a row, knowing that I have work the next day, to come visit them. Especially when our in laws are willing to make the hour long trip from the city to spend time with us.
Should I stick to my guns here?