u/Lazy-Wishbone9279

31F here. Let me preface this by saying that I’m definitely not a “pick me” who believes that “guys are less drama than girls” or prefers to be surrounded by a gaggle of men. I desperately want friendships with other women, and I don’t see women as my competition. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 2 years who I don’t need to mask around, a successful job in corporate America, and a few long distance female friends that I’ve known since childhood.

That being said, I have been very hungry for close friendships with women my age, in my city. Over the years, I’ve noticed that women “pick up” on my neurodivergence and masking more easily than men, in both social and work settings. Unfortunately, they have also often been less tolerant of it. When I’m with a guy, quirks of personality get laughed off. With women, I sometimes feel like a “wolf pretending to be a sheep” that has been found out, and they have often been less forgiving.

Much of this may be situational - as a woman, I gravitate towards interacting with women, which would naturally lead to more opportunities for negative social interactions. It also may be a self fulfilling prophecy, as I have much more anxiety when interacting with women due to the fear of rejection. But it still hurts.

Has anybody had a similar experience?

30 year old, no kids/pets, no mortgage, no debt, in relatively good health. Sitting on about $90k, making $110k/year. I started my role just over a year ago, and the company has been in an extremely bad place from the start, with all the harbingers of layoffs. Repeated team meetings about hiring/spending freezes, how we need to focus on “fulfilling our promise to investors,” 10% of my very small corporate communications team getting laid off in Q4 of 2025, etc. The energy crisis related to the closure of the Gulf has only worsened this.

I spent the first 8-9 months getting extremely anxious about every last minute meeting request and burning the midnight oil to get deliverables in but, for the past month or so, I just could not care less. I’m still going to the office, engaging with colleagues, getting the bare minimum done to get a “good” employee, but I’m so burnt out from the repeated layoff “edging” that I can no longer bring myself to care once the call comes. I received a positive performance review and small merit bonus one month ago, and know that I will be eligible for unemployment for at least 6.5 months.

I don’t mean to sound glib - I know how bad the job market is and have worked very hard to save up an emergency fund - but I think the repeated threat of layoffs hanging over my head and the knowledge that I’m just as likely to get laid off whether I work until 5 PM or 8 PM has really numbed my anxiety. If I’m doing everything that I could be doing to mitigate risk, why should I worry?

Does anybody feel the same?