u/Leading-Age4465

I don’t know exactly how to word it, but a part of me wishes my chronic pains were worse. I have hEDs and a lot of the annoying pain that come along with it, but it’s not HORRIBLE to wear I might need knee braces or other gear to survive. it’s bad enough to be in a constant state of discomfort and get bad spikes of pain depending on the day, but I feel like it’s not bad enough to be taken seriously. It’s just okay enough to be excused, forgotten, pushed aside, and a sick part of me really wishes it was bad enough to be more visible so people would take me seriously. I was wondering if there’s anyone else who’s feeling like this too?

edit: I should also mention, a big part of it is not being able to believe myself that I’m actually going through something. Because it’s not horrific every day, and even on my worst days it isn’t as bad as some other peoples pain, I feel like I can’t say I have hEDs. I obviously logically don’t want worse pain because I’m not stupid, but I just know that being in worse pain means that maybe I’ll actually deserve the title of ‘hEDs’ for once.

I’m 15 (female), and I was talking to my mom about how exhausted and fatigued I have been from school. I mentioned that I was so tired that all I wanted to do was invite my gf (also 15) over so we can fall asleep and cuddle—please note, this is literally all my intentions are, I really am just tired and wanna be with my partner after a while of not seeing her. She then went on to say “well…remember, you’re only 15,“ then proceeded to act and look at me weird until she closed my bedroom door and said goodnight. This hasn’t been the only time too. I once made a very wholesome animation of my two (adult) characters cuddling and talking, and I, being proud of how it came out, showed my mom. Somehow, even though there was nothing sexual in the animation, she acted as if I had showed the two characters actively making out. Mind you, my brothers been dating since he was 13, and theres no way she expected him to hold back from merely cuddling his girlfriends. So I ask, is cuddling and falling asleep next to your partner too inappropriate for young lovers??

edit: I’m so sorry I don’t know if this matters to say, just some extra information: I’m very educated on sex (so sorry if this is gross to say). My parents never had the talk with me, but I did have early internet access and sought my answers about sex, kink, and safety through the internet. I have a very secure relationship with sexuality/sensuality, I know how to control myself, and so does my girlfriend for very similar reasons. I also am well aware of the gravity and vulnerability of sex, I don’t see it at all as something to just do on a whim or when you just randomly feel like it. I mention all this to make it clear that I am not completely naive on how things can BECOME sexual if things play out a certain way, my question is if cuddling itself is sexual and if I’m weird for mentioning to my mother that I wanted to cuddle my partner.

ANOTHER EDIT: SORRY SORRY NOTHING I WAS SAYING IN THE FIRST EDIT WAS MEANT TO BE INTERPRETED AS GOOD! I fully acknowledge that the fact I know these things is a horrible and gross thing, and ideally I wouldn’t have learnt about it over the internet, nor at a young age