ISO info to help understand what may have occurred
So this came completely out of the blue for me, but after waking from a very traumatic nightmare that legitimately had me wake up already crying, I noticed a shift in demeanor in myself. I was trying to search for information to figure out what may have happened or could be related to it and kept seeing OSDD so I read into it a bit and I’m left unclear if I had gone in the correct direction.
(Not asking for a definitive yes or no just making sure I know if this could be where the topic of conversation goes when I talk to my psych about it)
Alright, more details now. It’s kinda hard to explain so I’m gonna try my best. When the tears had subsided from the however they started in my sleep, I started to feel a numbness of emotion. I’m no stranger to this feeling, my depression can cause me to slip into it when it’s bad enough. This time it was VERY different. This time it felt like I wasn’t really the one in control, or as I phrased it to my fiancé, it felt like I was the passenger and someone else was driving. The thing is, I didn’t really feel any shift in how I identified like any subtle change of preferences like I read in some experiences with alters.
I’ve done my research years ago info DID because I’m autistic and neuroscience stuffs like that fascinate me and I love to dive into learning more. So I knew that the key factor I was missing to definitively say that wasn’t the case here was amnesia. I was aware the entire time and at no point is there any lapse in memory.
As the day went on it eventually started to phase into feeling like I’m driving again, but not completely. At first, just feeling emotions coming back, then progressing into feeling partial control of my movements and actions, but it was almost like a lightbulb going out; it flickered in and out of whether I felt partial control or felt like the passenger.
By the end of the night as I’m writing this I’m feeling total control, with a small blink of being the passenger again as I’m trying to fall asleep.
So like, does this sound like it could align with OSDD or am I in the wrong ballpark? I just wanna make sure that if it’s not quite right that I’m not confusing my psych by mentioning OSDD specifically.