My marriage (AM) is very near. We're financially comfortable (mother has pension, father: nri returned) and the entire process has been a breeze because me and my father has done a lot of 'adjustments' for the sake of this marriage....ie my mother's wish.
My mother has always been short tempered and was extremely controlling when i was younger. As i became older i started defending myself and she calmed down a lot and i thought she changed but alas!
I begged her to delay the marriage date by a month (fiance's family is open to the idea..only my mother wanted to get the marriage done asap due to kundli and other superstitions).
I wanted the 1 month break since i've been working for YEARS in a different state and i wanted to have some time for myself (a month!l) in my own home state in the house i grew up in before the wedding. (For context, i quit my job a week ago, next week i'm getting married...and i'll be moving to my fiance's place 15 days later and by june again move to a place 50km away from his place for my new job.....this distance has me stressed too but atleast it isn't 500km+ like it used to be....with all this happenning was a month's break to myself too much to ask?)
She didn't agree to give me that 1 month and gaslighted me with the usual superstition excuse ....and i was FORCED to agree.
My wedding saree...she insisted our family has a designated colour for temple weddings and to adjust this 'one' time eventhough she knows i hate that colour....I agreed because i trust that the salon folks can make me look presentable in a rag even🤷♀️)
Whenever any kind of wedding date related topics come up between my mother and mil..she asks me whether I (her own daughter) told something untoward to my fiance.....insinuating to them that i'm unhappy with the marriage. She then starts yelling at me to make sure until i convince her i didnt.
Every single thing she asked of me...i agreed for my family's sake and since she's my own mother and i thought they want the best for us.
Her mood swings are 10x worse and NOW for the past 2 weeks she has been insufferable..especially to my father.
My father is a very quiet man......to this day he just listens & has never raised his voice in our household. I take after him for the most part and hate discord in our home and has never taken sides in their arguments unless it goes out of hand......BUT TODAY I LOST IT.
She got angry at my father for something very silly (it's so stupid to even type here..it's that irrelevant). i talked back...and called out her gaslighting and how she never admits when she's wrong and keep talking to win everytime.
I didn't curse, didn't shout..years of pain came out in the way of tears as i told her how she's been acting towards us since years!
.....she then proceeded to curse me by saying '' It'll be very difficult for you to live in their house (husband's) and your personality is insufferable and difficult to adjust for them. God is watching. I won't be a disturbance to you for long. You don't have a mother from today''. She then went to sleep.
On top of being anxious about my impending marriage, job change, new city and completely new people with a week left to the wedding..she told/cursed? all that. Should i/ will i be able to forgive her?
This is such a sensitive time where i need my parent's support..especially my mother who knows that i'm an introvert ......and she does this.
Sorry for the long post. I have nowhere else to vent and i can't stop crying. I feel miserable.