Hi im 20F and my friend21M (im using AI for My grammar English is my first language so soon if some words or sentences dont make sense)
The Foundation:
We were very close friends who shared a deep connection and truly enjoyed our long conversations. I always valued him as a "good friend" because of this bond.
The Timeline of Events:
• Mixed Signals & Family: A month ago, he was being "overly sweet," dropping hints, and telling me he missed me. He even told me his mother was asking about me, saying, "Where is that beautiful girl you talk to?".
• The Hidden Reality: While being this affectionate, it turns out he had been seeing someone else for 3 months (since the start of the term) without telling me.
• The "Cage" Talk: On April 13th, he confessed he wanted a relationship but felt like he was in a "cage". I told him frankly, "You need to step out of that cage yourself
• The First Date & The Text: Immediately after his first official outing with his new girlfriend, he messaged me saying he felt "exhausted" or "drained". It felt like he was reaching out to me for emotional comfort the moment things became "real" with her.
• The "Escape" Pattern: we were planning to hangout but the last min he’s says he can’t he have to go to the gym or his friends ask him so he said can wait for me after? I say no and he says sorry and wr didn’t talk for week and he texted me are u mad at me and apologizing to me and say When he just got a girlfriend and
My Dilemma:
I find it strange that he was telling me he missed me and mentioning his mother’s approval while secretly pursuing someone else, and then complaining to me about being "exhausted" after being with her. I don't feel comfortable being an emotional "safety net" for someone in a relationship.
The Question:
Given this pattern of hiding things and seeking my validation while with her, should I keep him as only friend , or is this behavior a sign that the friendship is no longer healthy?
TL;DR: TL;DR: TL;DR: He was giving me hints of interest but then got a girlfriend. Now he still texts and keeping pn update with everything i do I’m questioning if this friendship is healthy