I (26F) am mad at my bf (25m) about his dad
(26f) am mad at my (25m) bf for pushing me over for his dad. We unfortunately fight a lot about this
For the most part I understand it, to an extent. I am very close to my mother and I would move the world for her, but in my opinion, she is a fantastic mom. My bf, let’s call him M, for some reason worships the ground his abusive and negligent dad walks on. His dad was in a car accident a few years ago and since then his neck and back haven’t been well. I was fully supportive of his recovery and understanding for two years, since my mother went through something similar, but he has made many bad decisions and use of certain spicy spices instead of actually recovering. This has led to neglect of his youngest who still lives with him and now that kiddo is making poor choices as well.
Here is where I feel like I am TA. My bf has me sit in the back of my own vehicle, mine not his not ours mine to give the passenger to his Dad. I abhor the smell of cigarettes, his dad will keep the car door open while he smokes practically into my car and now it smells like them all the time. He is constantly thinking that people are trying to hack him and has also blamed me because the company I work with is secretive since it is a private company, nothing to do with computers. My bf and I have gotten into numerous arguments about my attitude and disapproval of his dad and the boundaries I have tried to set. I try to live a happy healthy life but his dad feels like a parasite in my life and seems to cause problems all the time.
My bf will constantly put me to the side just to appease his dad. Even now as I am typing this, for context it is my last night here before I fly out for a extended work trip and we have to stay at his dad‘s since it’s close to the nearest airport. I spoke to M about my feelings on the matter before we drove to his dad‘s, mentioning I really don’t want to go because I won’t see you for a long time and would like to spend time with you but if we are at your dads that won’t happen. He won’t let me have your attention at all, he always makes sure that he is at the center of attention and no one else. As soon as we got to his dad’s he gave him a list of things that must be done and now I will not have a chance to spend time with my Bf. Also for more context, none of these things are important. they are about his supposed “hacks” that have been occurring, which in fact are not real and are from his spicey spice times that he cannot recall.
This is becoming a serious issue for me.
Especially since his children are calling me due to his poor behavior and are crying to me on the phone, but my bf refuses to see how far gone his dad is.
So am I in the wrong for being mad at him or are these small things that I should be getting over?
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**tl;dr** My bf and I fight because his dad neglects his youngest child (minor) who lives at home still. His spicey spice induced times and overall making me out to be the bad guy to my bf since he drags my BF into his problems that are self inflicted and does not get help for.