u/Left-Reference6457

You never have to explain. One look, and it was as though from then on I was read into your silence like an internal memo you wanted the right person to be kept in the loop about.

I understood you.

I still do.

You’ll come across a song and it won’t give you butterflies. You won’t smile, at least not really. But you will lean back in your chair and think to yourself… “Huh.”

You’ll sigh the same way I sighed when I realized it. You’ll play that same tune yourself. And then, stupidly, you’ll smile for no good reason at all.

That part’s my doing.

Permanence is funny that way.

I have no need for romance. Show me where you go when you stop hiding your depth.

Between a conventional date and a task-filled weekend, I’d run those errands with you any day. Give me something worth holding onto. I’m tired of letting go of every third version of ourselves because we’re both too cautious to step outside of our fears and into the one version that counts: the real one.

And before you even say it, I’m not asking you to throw caution to the wind. I don’t want nor need that; I’m a little too old for reckless tomfoolery. Tell me about your goals and ambitions. For the love of God, put your foot forward and rattle me out of the homeostasis I’ve been waiting for you in. I’m tired of my baseline; hit your bass line like you mean it.

Because heaven help you if I end up breaking down all your walls myself. I shove charm, beauty, and grace into a duffel bag every day until I have to put myself together in neat order the next morning like some sort of fcking magic trick. You’ve seen the real me. Bare-faced, emptied, and still standing at the end of the day.

If I have to get dolled up just to charm you into actually reaching your next big life goal, I might just lose my sht. I’m sorry. But whoever said ‘love is patient, love is kind’ didn’t know what it meant to be wrecked by steady devotion to something worth living for.

Get us both out of maintenance mode. I’ve been ready for the next upgrade.

I’ve spent enough time being protective, watchful, assertive, bold. And just because I can doesn’t mean I want to take the lead all the time.

Please be the reason I can stop coloring so squarely within the lines every time. I built for myself a life of structure, rigidity, and discipline, consciously stifling fun in favor of a foundation that’ll never be shaken again. Now that I have it, though, I watch the world pass me by. Waiting for you to meet me on level footing. Waiting for you to not be afraid or intimidated.

Be the reason I choose to make room for love. Because, trust me, I want to want love. But, thus far, I’ve no reason to make time for it nor pay it any mind.

You came close to being someone I’d let in. Unfortunately, we’re both so squared away we box ourselves into our own respective corners.

All I’d ask is for you to stop second-guessing yourself; stop being cautious around me. I’d rather have what’s real about you. I’d go through hell with you.

Find me and meet me where you’re so sure of yourself you feel comfortable approaching me with all of your vulnerabilities and uncertainties. That’s where I’ve been waiting on the sidelines for you.

I’ve made my move. Make yours.