Engagement
I 23m and gf 22, together for 4 years. Seeking advice She really wants to get engaged and I don’t feel ready, but not sure if someone ever feels “ready”. Some context: we have a great relationship in all aspects and met in university halls, and have lived together ever since with flatmates, now in an apartment just the two of us.
tl;dr I don’t feel ready for engagement yet as there is so much I feel I need to accomplish personally before taking that step, whereas it seems to be her highest priority. But I also can’t imagine losing her because I wasn’t ready as we have such a good relationship and get along so well
she comes from a big family where everyone was married young, had kids young, and have stayed together ever since. Meanwhile I am the complete opposite small family with parents not together, and older siblings not in relationships currently.
Her main goals in life is to get married , have kids etc, whereas mine are more financial success orientated, travel, career.
We have talked about marriage openly since early in the relationship, and I always said I’m not sure what age I would be ready, time sort of slipped away and have now found myself 4 years into the relationship still not ready at all. It’s becoming more of a problem where she is bringing it up constantly and my reply of not being sure when I will be ready is wearing thin. I can see myself marrying and having a family with her in my future it’s just I feel so young with so much to accomplish it’s not a priority or doesn’t even feel on the cards for me yet. I’m also scared I’m leading her on by not knowing when I will be ready. Seeing as she wants to do this stuff young I don’t want to waste her time, if that makes sense.
I’m also worried that if we did take the step of getting engaged soon that her next step will be wanting kids soon.
So I’m at a loss with what to do any advice would be great !