Using a throwaway since my boss does know my online handles, and I have no idea if he's a redditor.
My Boss (50 ish, M) is leaving my company for another role, and it's hitting me (30 ish F) like a freight train.
While I haven't worked or known him particularly long (just under a year) the relationship I have with him has come to mean a lot for me, to the extent I fear it's unhealthy for me in a one sided way. Over the course of the year, we've gotten to know each other pretty well, and we come from similar life experiences. We are both survivors of familial abuse, and worked our way up from having very little. On top of this, he has been a wonderful resource for me both for work related issues and personal ones. While my actual dad is still very much alive, he and I are distant. To me, this boss has taken on a something akin to a father figure role in my life (though I have not told him I feel this way).
Earlier this year, another familial issue came up, and I didn't know how to proceed, and I needed advice. Because our situations were similar, I turned to him. He booked time out of his very busy day just for us to chat and help me work through this issue. This meant the world to me. I feel as though he may be one of the only people, if not the only person, who truly see's beyond the mask I wear to get through the day.
Professionally, he's also been an advocate for me. He does genuinely want me to succeed in life, and has mentored me many times in my role.
Outside of being helpful in times of distress he's also just a really good person who's a joy to be around. He is interested in my interests, despite some them being odd or nerdy. He shared one of his interests with me, Magic the gathering, and taught me how to play. I feel as though I can call him a friend, and he has referred to me as a friend once, Though with him being my superior (two levels higher than me) I worry about that label.
Earlier this week (Monday) he announced he's resigning from where we work for a new role, and while I have tried to put on a brave face for him, as I don't want him to feel guilty or anything for leaving, I am well and truly devastated. I feel ashamed to admit it but i've cried several times. I had my last 1:1 with him today, came home, and have been sobbing since. I feel selfish and weird for feeling so strongly about it, because I want him to be happy in his new role (he had felt that he wasn't the best fit for where we work and has way more experience in the industry he's moving back in too) This feels akin to mourning a death, despite the fact he's expressed he is happy to stay in touch, and gave me his personal contact information. I have so many feelings about this and I can't tell if these feelings are inappropriate. I feel so strange for it impacting me so deeply and I don't know how to move forward from this. Any advice on this would be immensely appreciated, if you have any.