I want to start by saying I love this girl. She's wonderful. Her family is wonderful. She takes care of me. We've never had any problems.
Last week I was over at her house. We had sex, and then we just laid down next to each other. I was still bare. She moved her hand to touch me, I said no. She tried again, I told her no, I'm serious. She kept trying. "No. I'm serious, I said no. No means no." She keeps trying, I'm actively pushing her away but I'm not angry. I'm not stern. I'm smiling. Her cat jumps on the bed, and I tell the cat "she's forcing herself onto me" as a joke hoping my girlfriend would catch the hint, she didn't. She keeps going until I'm fully pressed against the wall, curled in a ball and shaking, going "I'm scared I said no." That's when she stops. She then tries to hold me, and I can't be next to her. I'm scared and every time she moves I flinch. I had to get fully dressed and keep my distance for a while.
I text my friend when she goes downstairs to talk about what happened, because I feel gross and weird. My girlfriend comes back upstairs and she sees the texts. She starts crying, apologizing saying she never meant to make me feel that way.
I wasn't stern. And I don't feel unsafe. I can still be with her, we had sex again later that day and I didn't feel weird. I know I'm not unsafe with her. But that whole situation makes my skin crawl. And it's not the first time it's happened, she's just never had me shaking and my voice breaking like that.
It didn't change our relationship at all. She's not what she did. I know I'm safe with her. I just feel weird and need to tell someone. I need input. I don't know if it was attempted assault.