Sense of hopelessness after "succesful" treatment/therapy?
This is especially for those who have gone "far" in professional care (therapy) for CPTSD, specifically those who are past the phase where memories were unblocked and are now integrating them, or already did that.
I've been in therapy for 10 years, I'm highly functional, and I have functional relationships. But ever since I became "unblocked," I've had this unbearable feeling of hopelessness. It started when I became fully aware of what happened to me and my siblings and the weight of it and of what prospects we have, or don't have, in life. It also started when I began to see how hard everyday life is for me (I spent years of therapy in compensation and so-called structural dissociation). I literally tell myself that I don't want to live. I don't want to die, but this life is too hard - all the memories, feelings, dissociations, struggles and just knowing it affected people I love, my siblings, as much or maybe even more than me...
Has anyone experienced something similar? Please share how you coped with it, and whether it got better afterward.
PS: English is my second language