My friend thinks I have OCD, should I ask my doctor about it?
CONTENT WARNING: Brief mention of SA
Hello! I am posting this because I need help.
Recently, my grandfather passed away and it's taken a big toll on my mental health. I'm more anxious and my depression got worse. I'm positive it's been impacting my relationships with my friends because they've been more concerned about me (they ask a lot of questions about how I am, if I need a person to talk to, etc, more caring than usual ig?).
My best friend told me yesterday that he thinks I have OCD. His mom is a psychiatrist and he wants to take after her so he tries to be a doctor like that.. I don't know why, but ever since he said that it's been bothering me. I know mental illnesses are not something to be afraid of (I have dyslexia), but I feel like if I have OCD it'll impact my future career and goals.
I honestly feel like I'm probably just overreacting and grief is just messing with my head.
My friend told me to talk to my doctor about undergoing a mental evaluation but I personally think he's just making stuff up. I know he's telling me this out of the kindness of his heart, but it's really weird to tell your friend to get mentally evaluated, quite literally a week after someone close to them died?? Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I rely on my best friend for help and I feel like I'm a science experiment or something right now.
My friend listed some behaviors that I should talk to my doctor about. I rephrased them from "you" to "I" so it makes more sense. I put my thoughts in parentheses to show what I think about this. These are things he's noted about me throughout this year. He told me ever since my grandpa died that these behaviors have been increasingly more prominent.
I know I shouldn't go self diagnosing or whatever on the internet but I just want to know if my friend is crazy or if this is worth telling my doctor. Here are the things they noted:
- Stressing over things not being exact/perfect? ex 1: Another one of my friends is in the process of writing a book and I am pretty involved in it. It's basically about highschoolers having superpowers that go on missions. They gave me creative freedom to put my own character in their story, which I came up with an idea and sent it over. My friend said the character was a good start, but some simple mechanics with the character's abilities needed to be fixed, specifically a scientific reason on why they're able to do what they can do. Ever since then, I've been staying up late (past midnight) to fix the mechanics of this character. I keep writing ideas but everytime I write something I keep thinking that it's not good, my friend will hate it, and that I'm dumb for not being able to come up with something to fix the issue. I told this to my friend and they told me I should find making a character fun, and I'm aware of that. I can't stop thinking that I'm stupid for not coming up with a solution for this character. ex 2: Everytime we are in a group project, if something isn't done correctly, I take over because I feel like we won't get a good grade if it isn't done properly. "You feel like you'll fail if you don't put 100% effort into everything. Even easy assignments" He said.. (this is literally how school works imo but go off)
- Things not going my way: ex 1:Not getting into the college I wanted to as a primary example. I got rejected from my dream college in March and I spent around a week upset over it. I want to be an attorney in the future, and I said that by not getting into my dream school, I can't become an attorney anymore. Even though I knew my BA does not matter and the law school I get into does, I immediately thought I wouldn't be successful because of the school I ended up with. (I personally feel like this is normal? Everyone gets upset that they don't get into their dream schools 😭) -ex 2: Another example is with school in general. Whenever I get a problem wrong in a subject I'm confident in, I get really upset. I beat myself up and call myself dumb just for getting something wrong. (self discipline?? man idk)
- Being late: ex 1: I get to school 10-20 minutes early because I don't want to be late. During passing period I speed walk to my classes and I refuse to talk to anyone on the way to class because I'm scared I'll be late for class and get a tardy. (God forbid I have respect my teachers, and my school also takes away our parking spots/other privilages if we have a lot of tardies) ex 2: freak out if I'm late to work by even a few minutes. I got upset this one time where I was 5 minutes late and I was scared I'd get fired for being late. (my bosses are evil man idk)
- The expectations I put on myself: ex 1:I got a 2 on AP Statistics so I took a community college statistics class to prove I could take it ex 2: I take hard English classes at school/cc to prove my dyslexia isn't holding me back from accomplishing things ex 3: I have 2 jobs, a lot of service hours, and I do a lot of ecs to prove I am good to colleges ex 4: main point of this is that I'm constantly trying to prove someone I'm worth something but.. there's nobody I'm proving this to (God forbid I put expectations on myself)
- My habits? ex 1: I pick my cubicles and the skin on my lips when I'm anxious ex 2: I have to do something in order to feel like I "earned" the right to eat my food? There's something I do a lot where I have a feeling that I need to do chores before I eat so I "earn" it, if I don't do this I can't eat ex 3: recently after my ap lit test our teacher gave us treats for doing the test, I felt like I didnt deserve the treat because I didn't do good on the test ex 4: can't write names in red ink because it means they'll die ex 5: get upset if certain folders/binders aren't in proper pockets in my backpack
- Germs ex 1: I refuse to share any drinks or food with people because I don't know where their mouth has been ex 2: always wash my hands after touching people (I don't get these. I think they're reasonable. My mom works in Healthcare and says sharing is a huge way of spreading germs.)
- Thinking people hate me because of something small ex 1: apologizing immediately for saying jokes because I feel like they hate me for what I said, like it wasn't funny, even if people find it funny ex 2: apologizing for everything "Apparently I say "I didn't do/say ___ because I thought you'd hate me" for a lot of things
- My ability to not get over stuff that happened years ago ex1: My ex-bsf abandoned me for my ex-bf and then SA'd him, I can't let that go even though it happened years ago (who the hell would get over that??) ex 2: Apparently I always talk about how I wish I did something different in the past or how I wish I said something else? (everyone does this cmon man)
There's much more they said but I don't want this post to go on forever, so those are the most important points they made. The way my friend phrased some of them make me sound like I'm crazy, but all these seem normal to me?? I don't get it. I've heard a lot of other people have similar habits to me so I really don't see why my friend felt the need to tell me I could have OCD.
I've acted like this my entire life practically and nobody has said anything. I really just think I'm a perfectionist/germaphobe, or I have low self-esteem. Or anxiety. One of those.
Also, a majority of my family has ADHD, so I think out of anything, I'd have ADHD and not OCD.
I would really appreciate any help here. I just want to know if I should seek professional help or not. I'm going and asking here first because it costs an arm and a leg to get evaluated and I'd like to do it with proper reasoning so I don't blow my parents money. Thank you in advance. I do not mean to disrespect this community with this situation, I am just wondering if it's worth looking into.
edits: reformatted some stuff whoops, also added tw for SA