My friend and I were talking about relationships, and she told me she wants to get married someday but said she would never truly love a man. She said she doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving a man and that she only wants a relationship for financial stability so she can stay at home and not work.
She basically said she needs to find a man who can provide that lifestyle for her, even though she knows she wouldn’t actually love him. She told me, “I only want a man for what I can get out of him”.
That didn’t sit right with me, so I told her I think it’s wrong to go into a relationship knowing you’re going to use someone for money. I said that if she marries someone and treats him like a bank account instead of a partner, she might regret it later. I also told her that men deserve to be genuinely loved too, just like she would want to be loved.
She got really upset and said I was being judgmental. We haven’t talked since.
Now I’m wondering if I crossed a line by saying that, or if I was justified.
For context, she recently dated a guy who really loved her and did a lot for her financially. She told him she loved him, but privately she admitted to me that she didn’t actually feel that way. She would accept money from him regularly, and it got to the point where she said she couldn’t even stand being intimate with him. She told me she would basically mentally check out during sex and hated it, but she never told him the truth. As far as I know, he’s now heartbroken.