u/Legitimate-Adagio531

*I believe this is more of a discussion, but if not mods help me out with the right flair, ty! *

So girlies are yearning to eat cake without a special occasion attached to it, in whatever manner they choose, and I love it. On TikTok, I’ve been seeing posts about having a “counter cake” or buying a sheet cake on a random day just because, and I honestly find it kind of radical.

While I do appreciate cake etiquette and I believe it has its place at weddings, birthdays, and other celebrations with large groups of people, I also think we should loosen up our ideas around how we indulge in cake when it’s not centered around a formal occasion. In American culture, cake is tied to all kinds of meanings such as celebrations, family, rewards, femininity, and even morality. People develop all these little unspoken rules around cake.

The “counter cake” trend on TikTok is so lovely to me because it almost feels anti-etiquette. It rejects the social performance surrounding cake. In one TikTok I saw, a woman said she would be taking the middle piece with no shame, and it’s funny how culturally rebellious that statement sounds. There are all these rules around not taking the best piece, not ruining the presentation, not appearing greedy, and being grateful for whatever slice you receive (even while people subconsciously give the best slices to elders and whoever they favor most).

My perspective is, if I don’t take the middle piece, somebody else will (like at the end of the day that piece is going to be taken regardless). For some reason, it’s considered rude to openly admit that you want it. There’s this expectation that you should pretend not to desire the “best” part too much, even though everybody is quietly aware of what the better slices are. The social politics around cake can get kind of ridiculous.

Anyways, I think more Black people should be buying whole cakes and eating cake just for the hell of life, not only when something monumental happens. What do you think?

EDIT COMMENT: I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded to this post. It’s actually been very telling in a lot of ways. I genuinely did not expect this conversation to become such a generational one lol. It’s branching off in so many different directions, and I really appreciate how emotionally connected so many of you are to this topic in your own ways.

I’m sooo scared. I have never seen anything like this, and I don’t believe it will get better anytime soon. My job is even doing lay off or cutting people hours extremely low and I’m afraid I’m going to be next. I have already refined my resume a couple of times and applied to a many different places and I keep getting auto denied. Jobs are actually decreasing, and I’m speaking about jobs that offer full time employment that pays enough for 3x rent, utilities, and car notes.

If you are I’m just curious as to what your recipe or recipes are? Usually I use Folgers instant coffee with non fat milk, smuckers sugar free caramel, sf vanilla, and sf whipped cream.

So this post is actually about Michael Jackson, and the “Michael Jackson wanted to be white” allegations. It’s a common critique that Michael hated himself soooo much that he wanted to erase his blackness. This is a very big thought so much that all of the Jacksons address this rumor every time they talk about how the media harassed him. I just want to say, do I think that Michael Jackson wanted to look like Elvis? No. But do I think that he had this weird cognitive dissonance with wanting to have the rhythm of a black person, but not look black? Yes. It’s a very weird topic, usually we’re discussing nonblack people wanting to have our rhythm and not our blues. Anyways, I wish the Jackson and quite frankly the baby boomer generation would just admit that they battled with a lot of low racial self esteem. Nuance matters, that doesn’t mean every single moment was a self hating moment, but I’m sure when puberty set in, and they started to be intertwined with different races, a lot of insecurities about not being physically appealing came up. At the end of the day baby boomers grew up in a time when European beauty standards dominated the media, they didn’t have chance. The internalized self hate makes sense, and I wish a lot of them were more open to discussing it. As for the Jacksons I wish they would come out and say what it really was, but that would take some serious reflecting of their life overall. Considering how there family looks, I don’t believe that conversation will ever come up.