I was ready to stick by him so long as he was truthful to me. And there were many moments he was.
I found something that caused suspicion, and if I don’t believe the gaslighting I knew it was evidence that he was looking at the same OnlyFans creators he had given money to before. We didn’t even fight. Or more like I didn’t push it and I let him say the lies he wanted to feed me. I didn’t tell him what gave me my suspicion, as he stumbled over how he couldn’t be looking again.
I said it was over and we haven’t spoken since. It kills me trying to not message him or to give him one more chance to clear the air. He chose to lie multiple times. To himself and to me. At one point he said “You’re making me doubt myself” and it nearly made me laugh. How about all the years I’ve been through trying to decipher what was anxiety and what was real? All because he couldn’t lie?
In all honesty, I’m distraught. I am about to lose someone who takes care of me in so many ways but has also disrespected me and never thought twice to lie to my face. I’m too young for this, yet I already feel like I will be dying alone.