u/Legitimate-Money-894

So a little back story I’ve been friends on and off with my best friend. we met when we were 16, we are now (me ) 33 and her (32). Let’s call her Chloe and me kat.

We started going to college together again because we both needed maths and English for our dream jobs, so when I decided to quit my job and go back into education, Chloe thought it’d be cool to do it together. I did too to be honest, we were really excited!

Anyway, in our English class we met someone that seemed really cool! She had our humour and we all got on to begin with, let’s call her Emma. Now everytime we meet someone new Chloe always brings up the past thing I did to her which wasn’t great, but I thought we patched things up and moved on as adults. Emma didn’t seem bothered and actually thought it was great that we were still friends, so I thought she seemed really cool as I always get judged by my past. By the way, which the thing I did was over a decade ago and we patched things up 4 years ago and have been close ever since. So a couple of months go by with us talking and hanging out, slowly I started to feel like Emma didn’t like me very much. When we were all together she’d say stuff like “oh kat always ignore me so i stopped listening to her” bare in mind i never ignore anyone! That comment came out of no where, Chloe said something and I said “pardon?” Because I didn’t hear her and Emma replied with that. So confused. But I brushed it off as a joke even though no one laughed, we all stood there in awkward silence until the elevator stopped at our floor.

Everytime I hung out with them at college or outside of college I felt drained and upset after coming home, even my partner had noticed and said friends aren’t suppose to make you feel like that. The last straw was a couple of weeks ago, I worked so hard and waited so long for my daughters assessment for ADHD and autism, lonnnggg story but I had to work for her EHCP with countless meetings and emails, phone calls. 4 years in the making this assessment was as it took over a year to get her plan and psychologist report. Anyway her assessment was a week away and I was nervous to all heck, my mental state was shocking as I was waiting for the results from her high school choice. I put her forward for a provision school for SEN children, not mainstream, it’s the same high school as my son, it’s extremely difficult to get into with a diagnosis, never mind without one. I put a message in the group chat we are all just seeking support and how I was feeling….. completely ignored. Seen and not responded, but not just ignored but Chloe sent a reel right under my message. Not the first time I was completely ignored in the chat and I mean just skipped over, not even an acknowledgment. But I thought my friends would at least be supportive in time of need.

I put a Facebook status instead and Chloe liked my status and Emma nothing. No one message me or rang me about it. But when Chloe did ring it was about her hardships as she’s going through struggles too, so mentally I was taking on her load and no one was there for me. We had an English exam on the day of my daughter’s assessment so I put in the group I couldn’t attend and I was sorry, as you need 3 or more people to do it with. It’s speaking and listening. They said don’t worry etc, they’ll help with mine the week after so I thought oh I don’t need to worry at least about that. They messaged once whilst I was sat in the office the next day and rang once to ask how it went, then immediately started speaking about how the exam went….. apparently it didn’t go well or something. I dunno, I was mentally checked out. A day before my exam guess who both bail on me? Yup the two of them. I had no one to sit in with me so I had to last minute find classmates who would, it wasn’t easy. I’ve stepped back massively but now Chloe is going through struggles and keeps saying in the group chat “this is why I need my friends etc”. But where was they? My daughter got into the school, I got emailed a day after. We was extremely happy! I told Chloe and she said “oh you’re really lucky, it’s all over for you now” meaning the SEN struggles. I’m like 1 I wasn’t lucky, I worked dam hard for her and 2 I still am waiting on her assessment results so it’s far from over. She keeps asking about her results, have they come back yet, like everyday asking. Where was this support when I needed it? Am I overreacting by stepping away for my own mental health?

Since taking a breather from them I feel less drained and more happy within myself. Sorry for the long post 😅 there is more to this but it’s long enough, I also have screenshots of the chats