u/Legitimate-Poet-3323 — reddlx

I want to start out by saying that I know I have professional areas of growth like everyone and mine is handling stress better.

At the same time. I don't want to take responsibility for stress that is contrived, performative, or brought on by the desire for a bigger bottom line.

My believe is that Deloitte would rather burn people out and squeeze the bottom line than reduce the workload on employees.

I started on a commercial project as a GPS consultant 14 months ago. I take a lot of pride in my work and take a lot of ownership over my work.

I essentially ran three applications, two of very high complexity through a complete development lifecycle and transition to the client.

After the initial month, there was very little support and getting questions answered or raising concerns and getting them addressed simply didn't happen. I took on the responsibility to create 'clif notes' for my two main developers so they'd understand the application more quickly. My original senior developer quit after 3 weeks and I was conducting all discovery sessions without my Dev.

I picked up developers and dropped developers throughout the project. At any point in time I could be managing 4 people for the day and have 3 more added at different times and told to find work for them - which I was happy to do but it wasn't easy and it took a lot of rerouting and changing on the fly to make these things work constantly.

I had to take mental health days, slept at least 13 hours a night for multiple nights each month, and cracked my tooth from grinding my teeth.

Everyday was an expectation without any real substantive help towards issues I was asking for help on. Or it was another idea to do something that added more work or stress to my plate.

I worked through burnt out developers that wouldn't communicate, test, or follow up with me for the next issue. Raised this concern to my leadership multiple times only for that one person to be on the project 4 months later doing the same thing.

On top of all this, I have expressed and repeatedly expressed AND took the responsibility of proactively setting up methods and options to help mitigate any issues related to my diagnosis of ADHD.

I thought leadership was by example and putting in the hours to meet the deadlines (I worked over 50 hours every week of this project and have only been allowed to bill 8 daily). Being there for the client, delegating, congratulating our team, providing support, asking my teammates id they're ok when they sound like they're not, offering to listen and work through issues, and standing up and taking responsibility for something when it was on my team.

I thought great client service was the client telling you that they'd work with you again in a heart beat. Being given the toughest client and turning them around and building a strong relationship. Being told that your stakeholders were going to tell your SM no that they couldn't roll you off despite the project ending.

Again, we go back to the stress. Where I had to leave a meeting with my manager and SM and restart my computer because nothing was working and I was so stressed from a rushed user acceptance testing. Only to get back on and barely able to breathe because I was sobbing and depleted. My manger that came on the project late that they had been relying on me for too much of the workload.

Ive always been professional to the client and although I have vented to my teammates it's never been about them it's been about the project -maybe it's my mistake and I think work friends a real thing when they're not an that's my issue.

To make a much longer story than I've been able to describe here, short, I tried really hard and I succeeded on my project and I built these relationships. But despite all this I received two Below on my year end review and a M for client.

It's hard to put all these pieces together in my head of what happened considering all my snapshots are on the higher end of strongly agree and very strongly agree.

Either way I think the writing is on the wall and makes me sad. I had so much hope and promise for what I could achieve and become and it feels like I wasn't going to get there no matter what here.