Is it the Keppra or the epilepsy? Is it something else?
Backstory: Had a really bad TBI in 2010 while dating a woman and she was constantly telling me I was "doing strange shit and making strange noises' every time I seen here. First seizure I ever had was while cuddling with her. I THOUGHT I was just looking at a poster hanging on her wall, but when I turned back to look at her, she was curled away from me, covering her mouth in shock, asking 'Sweetheart, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO YOU?! I said 'Nothing. What the fuck are you talking about?!' She kept telling me something happened. I got mad and tried to run out of her apartment. She blocked her front door and talked to me for over TWO FUCKING HOURS, saying ' Something REALLY bad just happened to you! You can't leave!' & 'I haven't had stuff go this well with a man in a LONG time and you just ruined it.' She finally convinced me to stay, and we end up going to sleep afterwards. Well, about a month later out, I got violently sick. My temperature was 105.2 and I was hallucinating like a motherfucker. Thought I was going to die for 2 day. Turns out, I contracted viral meningitis and wouldn't find out until receiving a proper diagnosis of epilepsy in 2019 and putting 2 & 2 together. The relationship only lasted a few months after that, but I was CONSTANTLY having focal aware & impaired in front of her. Shit, I had a STRONG one while having sex with her once and thought I was going to vomit all over her. Over time, she thought I was becoming schizophrenic and dropped my ass. I spend the next 9 MONTHS begging her to take me back, She says no. She ends up stopping all contact and starts dating her ex, who she was MADLY in love with, and I LOST MY SHIT. Funny thing? Me and this guy share the same last name. I become verbally violent with this man like I have never been with anyone before in my life. Tell him four words you don't EVER tell someone unless you mean it. Cops got involved. (In hindsight, I was in full blown epileptogenesis during all of this) Embarrassing shit on my part. Last words my ex told me, when I was fighting with here new bf (they ended up getting married and having a boy, just like she said she wanted to do with me) was that I 'was no longer the loving, caring, generous, sensual man she fell in love with and that something happen and my personality was COMPLETELY different.' Her BF explicitly told me to never contact her again. EVER. Never heard from her again. That was in 2012.....and that was that. (Actually, she DID reach out about a month before her wedding with a simple "hey" email. I told her her husband said no contact & to leave me alone. She did.)
2019: Between May and October, I have 9 tonic clonics out of nowhere. First one was while taking a dump. Seriously. Sitting on the toilet at 2:30 PM and come to in my bed, with no pants on, at 7 PM. When I come to, my internal monologue is screaming at me: 'YOU HAD A SEIZURE.' Tell some people, they don't believe me........then I start having them in front of people. Can't deny that. Get put on Keppra in October 2019 and haven't had one since. February 2020, during COVID, it fucking dawns on me: 'Rease was trying to tell you you were having SEIZURES in front of her, you stupid ass. HOLY FUCK!' I want to reach out and talk to her about it SO BAD, but I abstain. Completely forget about it. Fast forward to July 2025, and just................it all hit me again. Cried for a month. Wanted to reach out REALLY bad. Was able to control it until Late March of this year. Sent her an email saying I really needed to talk but I understand If she doesn't want to. No response. Not surprised. Don't blame her, either. It just.............sucks, you know? I just CAN'T STOP thinking about it. I don't know if its the Keppra or the epilepsy or something else. So yeah......
Sorry for the dissertation. LOL. I'm not here looking for any diagnosis or anything, just trying to get some of my brothers & sisters opinions on the situation or see if anyone else has had an experience like this. Feel free to ask me any questions, and I do mean ANY, and I'll happily answer. No limits. And like Tupac said: 'Keep ya head up.'