Me (19M) and ex (19F) are in a weird spot, how do I know if a relationship is over?
My ex and I go to the same college together, a small school so we see each other often. A little over a month ago I ended things. Since then we have had our own relations as an effect of the breakup. Mine were to soon after (a terrible mistake), but weren't continuous. Her's came some weeks, but is seemingly becoming a little more than a hook-up (despite her insisting to me that that is not the case and that she is uninterested in him).
I have missed her ever since the second I ended things. I was, and still may be emotional immature, and I tend to bring things to an end to quickly. This time away hurt more than anything I have ever experienced. We dated for around 6 months, enough time to grow a deep affection and love for a person I believe. These emotions only grew afterwords, into a physical pain almost. I ended up reaching back out to her to have a conversation when I heard about this new guy. I had planned on taking more time, allowing more space, but seeing them spiraled me, and I needed to know that I could either have this back, or didn't have a chance in the world.
We had this talk, a couple of times, and no answer came. She was very indecisive, saying words of love that were not ever conveyed during the relationship, while also saying I hurt her, and that she wasn't sure if this could happen again. She came over late last weekend, she initiated sex, she said she loved me, I was the best she ever had, that she missed me, that she wanted to be with me, things were good for around an hour, I thought my prayers were answered. It did come to the time when I finally addressed our relationship, and her's with this other man. She was going to a public event as his date that night, I asked her not to. She said she wasn't with either of us, and that she needed to keep her word (valid). We spoke until 6 in the morning, me pleading my case, her rejecting it every time. She stood very firm, which I respect a lot. She may have these feelings for me, but I ended things with her, and she is simply protecting herself. She ended up staying the night, woke up with me that morning, and later that date went to the dance with that man.
I texted her later that day, I asked if I could speak with her one last time. I didn't want to plead my case, I didn't want to ask anything of her I already had, I wanted to apologies. I wanted to tell her I understood and respected her decision. I wanted to end things on a good note if they were going to end. She said she didn't think it was best to be talking right now, that whatever I must say should be texted. I told her these things. We have not spoken since.
I wish to reach out to her again this summer, I intend to give her her time and space. I realize now how crucial that is. I need my time and space as well, as I had hurt her, she had hurt me, and I don't think either of us want to feel that again right now. She has a birthday a few weeks away, I plan on simply giving birthday wished, asking her how she is doing, and leaving it there. I don't believe I can be the one to attempt to talk to her again, it's up to her now.
I should get to my question now, how do I know when things are over? I may have received a solid no, and I don't wish to invalidate that, but I hope one could understand my confusion in this scenario considering the things I heard from her.
Do relationships continue after something like this?
Do feelings like this leave over time?
Is reaching out a bad idea?
Thanks.