u/LegitimateEbb7345

Hi all,

Recently had an argument with my husband because he’s taking my son on a hike where he’s been scouting moose recently, and I suggested he take bear spray as well as his gun.

For context, we live in Alaska on the Kenai peninsula and both my husband and I are lifelong Alaskans and spend a lot of time outdoors. He’s only been hunting for a few years.

He thinks I’m being ridiculous and keeps telling me bear spray is essentially useless when he has a gun— but that’s not what the statistics show and obviously it is situational. The thing is, I didn’t say “use bear spray instead of a gun” — I understand that having a gun is smart in the backwoods in bear territory.

Am I being over cautious or ridiculous here? Should I let it go? I don’t understand what the resistance is to taking an additional form of defense

I have 3 children 8M, 6F, 4F. My oldest son and middle daughter are constantly at each other’s throats — I know some level of sibling fighting is normal, but I have recently become pretty concerned about it.

My middle daughter is a real tough little girl and she’s constantly in her brother space, she adores him and I think she just wants to play and get his attention. He often lashes out at her and I know he absolutely does not care if he hurts her physically or otherwise.

She’s very tough, so she often can’t handle it but sometimes she’ll be crying. Sometimes it he gets angry about something else even, he will take it out on her.

I always intervene and try to explain that it’s unacceptable, and I’ll separate them until they cool off. However whatever I’m doing is not enough because the behavior continues and I don’t think he feels bad about it.

He’s not violent or anything to ANYONE else - he’s a very sweet kid and great with younger kids and babies, this only seems targeted at his one sister.

Today I snapped because when I had my back turned he threw a sharp pencil at her from a foot away and she was crying. I yelled, not proud of it but I was so upset by this pattern that honestly feels like abuse. I calmed down and talked to him when he was pouting. The part that broke my heart is that my daughter told him SHE loves him, even when he hurts her…… I’m heartbroken and afraid that she will grow up to tolerate this if I don’t fix it. And afraid for his behaviors not being addressed.

Any help or guidance is appreciated… I’m looking into counseling but we live in a small rural town so would have to be remote or we’d travel for it.