Hello everyone i just need some advice cause im hearing one thing from people but my gut tells me something else.
17 years ago i found out my wife at the time had been cheating on me with a co worker. I will spare the details but it wasn't pretty and it was a long drawn out divorce and along the way she seemed to have said something to my daughter at the time who was 16 and well my daughter since then has hated my guts.
The last real 1 on 1 interaction we had she told me she never wanted to see me again and i was better off dead never giving me the chance to explain myself.
Of course i didn't give up i paid for her college and kept trying to reconnect with her to speak with my daughter i tried everything uncles, aunts i asked my father even my son was unable to make her listen. And up until my youngest grandson was born 5 years ago i tried at least multiple times a year but after she denied me i just gave up.
And to be honest if it wasn't for my son and his wonderful wife and my first grandson i don't know if i would be here to type this all out i was just so depressed. My daughter had accepted her step father completely into her life and he even walked her down the aisle while i wasn't even so much as told about the wedding, i wasn't there for her daughters birth either nor her son and i just missed my daughter and all this because she believed her cheating mother.
Through some very much needed therapy i have accepted the fact that my daughter isn't the person i remember anymore and i should move on. And i have for the past 2 years been actually happy since moving on.
Last Wednesday i got added on facebook and i was shocked to see it was my daughter. To keep her long message short she wanted to talk to me and introduce her kids to me.
And to be honest i blocked her.
I am finally happy after so long and i won't risk her ruining it again by giving me false hope or even taking my grandkids away from me again after i bonded with them over something dumb or another lie. I just can't risk my happiness anymore since i spent my 40s and 50s miserable.
Since then my ex sister in law, my own brother and my daughter in law have all told me basically that it wasn't okay and that i should give her a chance. The only one who has remotely supported me has been my son.
I just feel like it's so unfair for them to say "give her a chance" while none of them experienced what i had.