I wanna sleep forever....
I think I just experienced my first real heartbreak and it’s messing with my head more than I expected. I got rejected by someone I genuinely cared about and even though she was honest and respectful about it, I still feel emotionally exhausted. One moment I feel calm and mature about it, the next moment I feel miserable, tired and empty.
She is interested in me but not as a romantic partner because she just went through a breakup.
Part of what makes this harder is that she wasn’t manipulative or cruel at all. She was actually honest instead of dragging me emotionally, and somehow that makes it hurt even more because I can’t even turn her into a villain in my head.
I also realized I tied a lot of my emotional regulation and even unhealthy coping habits to this person, which is making it harder to process everything normally. I’m sleeping too much, losing motivation socially, and trying to understand whether what I’m feeling is normal grief, emotional burnout, attachment issues, or something deeper.
For context, I probably have AuDHD/OCD tendencies, so emotional attachment and overthinking become really intense for me.
What’s hurting me a lot right now is that I keep trying to talk to people or reach out indirectly, but it feels like nobody is really there or knows how to listen. It makes everything feel even more isolating.
I understand her situation and wanna give time but she said not to keep hopes and that she would not accept it.
I'm not in the position of continuing. She was my first love and here you go. I had been an Incel for soo long and when someone changed that she doesn't want me anymore. I just can't......