u/Level-Celery-8787

I’m 25 and starting to roadtrip, hike, and camp solo.

Every time my family finds out I’m planning a trip, I get a lot of “Why are you doing this alone?”

And “You really think it’s a good idea to sleep in the woods alone as a woman?”

And “Why don’t you have any friends to go with?”

I just had an argument with my mom over it when she noticed I ordered some gear on our shared Amazon account for a roadtrip I’m planning.

I somewhat angrily and rashly told her I’d rather sleep in the middle of the woods alone than walk 5 minutes down the street of the city I live in. If she wants to know what harassment and threats feel like, she can accompany me on my walk to the coffee shop. I’m not even saying that because I fear the city, but it seems so irrational when I have literally been chased by a tweaker with a knife just walking outside my apartment, but you are worried about some trees?

I’ve explained that if I only went camping when friends either wanted to or had the time off work to do it, I’d probably almost never get to do it. And sometimes I just want to spontaneously travel or extend a day trip overnight.

This is a bit of a personal rant but I feel like a lot of my family are afraid of their own shadow and waste away sitting inside watching TV. Every day. Same thing. They are afraid of trying new things or even going to a restaurant if they haven’t been before. I don’t want that life. They judge me for a lot of my hobbies if there’s even a slight risk to it, like indoor rock climbing.

I also have a Garmin device and other safety measures to help them worry less. Sometimes it feels less of a safety thing and more of a judgment that I don’t have people to go with.

I have a remote job with generous PTO, as well as the financial means to do a lot of these trips. As we are all early career and in a struggling industry, most of my friends are in debt or given 5 days PTO a year. A lot of people have to quit their careers or go on sabbatical to be able to travel the way I am able to currently. I would hate myself for squandering this opportunity because I have to do it mostly solo.

Has anyone else been through this and has advice? I know, I know, don’t let it bother you, you’re an adult, or whatever, but even outside family, solo women camping has a stigma, whether you are called naive or a friendless weirdo.

How do you handle it on days when you can’t just shrug it off?

I probably shouldn’t let this get to me but for some reason it’s kinda stinging today.

So I’m basically the only person at my local who bodyboards, and definitely the only girl who does.

I’ve been doing it a few years now, gone out into lineups on 8-10 foot days (my local is usually trash, small waves) and had a blast and been really friendly with the surfers.

We smile when each other catches a good one and chat in the parking lot. Lots of lovely people. The vibe itself is a big part of why I love doing this. It’s a relaxing, low energy way to feel social and share happiness with complete strangers when someone does something cool.

Today, we had 1-foot, mushy shore break. Some slightly better waves a little further out but super crowded and not worth it in my opinion. For some reason, the lineup vibe was super serious when I showed up in the shallower portion. I felt a lot of stink eyes on me as I entered. I was the only bodyboarder, but there were tons of kooks with paddleboards that seemed way worse than one bodyboarder.

Anyway, I keep off to the side a bit more and take a lot of the waves nobody wanted or had no chance of getting. I give priority, I move out the way when I see someone getting ready to take one, overall show respect. The waves are pretty trash, and I don’t really care about any of them to be pushy or get mad that I had technically had priority a few times. I still manage to get some green ones and do some spins and I think the other surfers warmed up to me once they saw how I acted and were more smiley.

But this one guy on a longboard, who has looked absolutely miserable all day and like he’s angry that he’s surfing, catches a wave super far from me. I notice he has the skill to do turns and control wherever he wants to go, and he makes eye contact with me, frowns, and makes a beeline for my head.

What gives?

As he gets closer, the wave is dying fast and there’s literally no reason for him to keep coming at me, but he does. I decide to hold my ground because I know he’s capable of turning and the ride is definitely over. It feels like an intimidation thing where if I move, he wins and does it again until he drives me off. He gets like an inch away and does an abrupt pivot.

I had been far away from this guy all day. He was one of the surfers on the further break. I never went for a wave he was going for or had any interaction with him prior.

Kind of dumb but I felt rattled. There’s also just a weird vibe to it when an older, solo guy does this to a young, solo girl minding her business. I thought the sponger beef with surfers was long gone. I’ve genuinely never experienced it before today.

There is a small voice in my head sometimes where I feel a little insecure about being an adult booging, like people see me and think I’m doing something tourist kids do and play in whitewater. It’s dumb, I know, but when stuff like this happens, that voice gets a little louder.

Can anyone commiserate or give advice?