u/LevelRequirement3391

After being on this subreddit practically everyday about 2.5 years ago, I stumbled upon a post, and started scrolling. All the emotions of my own breakup came up and reading how hurt and upset people are (which I remember all too well), I thought I would share my own story.

I was with my (now) fiancée for around 1.5 years. We had a really strong relationship: it was always laughter, fun and we never argued. However, with absolutely no indication beforehand, she dumped me pretty out of the blue. Her reasoning was that although she still loved me, she felt she had hit her emotional breaking point in other aspects of her life (her mum was unwell and she had recently lost her job) so couldn't feel she could commit to the relationship. I was devastated but I respected the decision and told her my door would always be open if she needed me.

The next few weeks were rough. I respected her space and went full no contact for about 5 or 6 weeks. She needed space and that wasn't going to help if I was pressuring her. After that time, I decided I wanted to reach out; not with any expectations or pressure, but just to see how she was holding up. I sent a short message just saying I hoped she was doing okay, and she responded. We exchanged a few messages and then I asked to call. We had a 2 hour or so conversation, which was light and just catching up. I asked to meet, which we did a week or so later, and it felt amazing. We reconnected and she evidently seemed less "pressured". Around a month after that, we got back together again officially. 2 years later, we got engaged and are happier than I've ever been.

I think the reason I'm telling this story is because I really don't believe you have to follow a rulebook and everything you read on here. Everything on Reddit (and conventional wisdom) says "never reach out as the dumpee" but I felt in my circumstances, it was appropriate.

I don't believe everyone should go back to their ex. If the relationship was characterised by abuse or cheating, that book should be closed. Some people also just aren't right for each other and that's okay. However, if you had a loving, perfect relationship and it was mostly circumstantial, you may regret it if you don't try again.

I really don't want this to read as a false hope kind of story. Relationships and love aren't linear and doesn't fit neatly into patterns or boxes. I can't guarantee that you are magically going to get back with your ex and live happily ever after but if you want to reconcile, it's always possible if both people want it.

I've worked in a relatively small, family-owned restaurant in England for about 2 years. There are around five other girls who I work alongside that I get along well with, so we often socialise outside of work. We made a group chat where we make plans and occasionally (I know we probably shouldn't) gossip about customers and other staff members.

We had someone new join around three weeks ago. She's very sweet so we added her to the group chat. She wanted to swap shifts so she could have a day off and she asked to do so in this group chat. Not thinking it would be a problem, this was arranged in the chat.

However, when she didn't turn up, she was questioned about this by our manager. When she informed her that she'd swapped, our manager questioned why this wasn't in the main work group chat. Perhaps naively, she said she'd done it in our group chat, which our manager requested she be added to. Again, not sure why she agreed to this, but I imagine she was intimidated as she's only 19.

Our manager called us all in individually and said that she'd reviewed the chats in the group chat and said it amounted to bullying and harassment because of the way members of staff had been targeted. She elaborated that didn't want this kind of culture in the workplace, especially as people could feel excluded. Therefore, she asked us all to leave the chat individually after speaking to us. We all did so, not wanting to be in any further trouble.

However, I've spoken to friends, and they think it's outrageous. They've said that the group chat has nothing to do with my employment and the only link is the fact we work together. We're grown adults socialising outside of work, and we should be allowed to chat and socialise. We'd be happy to only arrange shift swaps on the main channels as I get this is work related, but surely she has no right to demand that group chats are deleted. Am I correct here, or does she have legal standing?