u/Lexiem19

Hey y'all, I write this tired out of my mind!! My husband had an episode, and I tried my best to keep calm under the circumstances. Instead of going straight to hospitalization, I was able to schedule a same day appointment at his clinic. After speaking with his psychiatrist, he's been rediagnosed. Care to take a guess what his new diagnosis is? Apparently, he is now schizoaffective bipolar subtype. I am somehow relieved because now his manic episodes make sense, and the psychosis that accompanies it also makes more sense. I feel guilty because I didn't see the signs, but I'm just glad he's on the mend and not on medicine that will harm him further. I also saw my nurse practitioner, and she has cleared me to work!!! I couldn't sleep last night, so I applied to a job and they got back to me today. They want to schedule a phone interview!!! I haven't worked in 3 years, so color me surprised that they still want to interview me. It's a part-time office job with a small company, which suits me just fine. Thanks for reading, and enjoy the rest of your weekend!!! Sometimes things don't go according to plan, but that doesnt mean something good won't come out of it!!

Hey y'all!! This week has been pretty quiet. PT is kicking my butt! I started doing weights, but my body hurt so much the next day I had to stop using them. I feel like I'm stagnating, and I hate it. I have a chance to be a speaker for NAMI, but I don't drive and am worried about getting stressed out. My stress level is low now, but when I was working I just couldn't handle all of the expectations that come along with a job. I keep thinking of all the reasons not to do it, but my best friend told me since I'm more stable now, what's the harm in trying? I will make a decision eventually, because I dont want to keep thinking "what if?" I hope y'all have a great rest of your day!!! Seize the day, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Xoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, I write this tired out of my mind but hopeful. Physical therapy is kicking my ass, but I know it's for the best. On a good note, I've not heard voices ever since starting abilify. I might still get paranoid and hear random noises, but this is huge for me. I was on abilify years ago and it did nothing to help me. I don't know what changed, but I'm not complaining!! My mom just bought some yummy vegetarian food since we're paranoid about eating meat right now. You'd be surprised how flavorful and delicious tofu and stir-fried veggies can be! Vietnamese vegetarian food has always been my favorite. It would be nice to share the food with you guys. Sometimes, I wish we could all get together as a group and hang out!!! I know a lot of us don't even like getting out of bed, but meeting y'all would really brighten up my days. Hope y'all have a great rest of your day. Tomorrow is not promised, so make something of today!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, it's been a week. I'm writing this after not getting much sleep, so I apologize if my tone seems off. I've been going to physical therapy for my leg and back, and it's helping! The only problem is that I'm still sore from doing the exercises. The physical therapist said I'm making good progress, and I was even able to use the exercise bike during my last session!! I think I've been very tired physically and mentally lately. I'm tapering off vraylar and taking the lowest dose of abilify, so I might need to increase the abilify. I'm worried because my doctor hasn't responded about refilling my benztropine, and I'm running low. It's one of the things stopping my eye rolling, which almost happened the other day. All in all, I'm just fatigued and need a break from the stress of life. I know I'm sounding pretty defeatist, but I'm still positive that things will turn out okay. Never lose hope, everyone!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, things are looking up! I didn't have any eye rolling episodes this week. I do feel more tired throughout the day, but I'll take the trade off. My husband has a job interview today as well, so I'm crossing my fingers he gets the job!! I started DBT with a new therapist, and she's really nice. She's very open-minded and funny, so I think she's a good match. I've made up my mind that I want to write a book of poems relating to mental health. I've not read any poems that really tackle the struggle we go through, and it is my dream to be a published author. Setting goals reminds me that I have a purpose in life. I have a reason to wake up in the morning, whereas before I would stay in bed all day. I hope y'all have a great rest of your weekend!!! Whenever you doubt yourself, know that I am in your corner cheering you on!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I got this jewelry case from Five Below and thought it would be great to hold my meds! 🤣🤣🤣

Hey y'all, it's been an interesting week. It started with two dystonic episodes, but after talking with my NP, I've now started abilify and will be tapering off of vraylar. The good news is that I haven't had any episodes the rest of the week. The bad news is that I ran out of refills of vraylar and felt a bit manic yesterday. Luckily, the vraylar stays in your system for a long time, but I am hoping I can get my meds tomorrow. I asked for emergency meds (it's the law), and the pharmacist couldn't give them to me because they were out of stock. I even asked if I could go to another pharmacy, but he said I have to get it from him. I won't go all woe is me just yet, because things are still looking up!! I'm about to stream a movie with my mom, and I just made raspberry strawberry smoothies!!! I wish y'all the best!!! Never give up, even when you feel like you have nothing left to give. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, it's been tough recently. I just had an eye rolling episode last night. I didn't get much sleep either, but I'm lucky I don't have to go to the ER anymore since my NP prescribed benztropine. The week was mostly good because I was controlling my anxiety and even managed to go grocery shopping at two stores on a Saturday! That was a big win for me. I either have to lower my dose of vraylar again or switch entirely. I read that seroquel is supposed to be better for dystonia, but I've taken it before and it made me sleep most of the day. I'd like to be able to be more active during the day and have a normal routine. I still count myself lucky that despite these episodes, I have a roof over my head, SSDI, and a great support system. I know how hard it is to be positive when we suffer so much with this illness, but I refuse to let the voices win. Have a wonderful rest of your day, guys. If no one has said this: you are enough!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, it's been a struggle this week. I ended up in the ER twice because of the eye rolling. The first time wasn't too bad, but I was treated abhorrently the second time. I was having a pseudoseizure and when the nurses found out it wasn't epileptic, they brushed it off as nothing and forced me to wait back in the lobby. I didn't mind going back as much as I minded them dismissing me because my seizures were psych related. It felt like I was garbage that they were throwing away. It took about 2 hrs to be seen, and I still couldn't get a bed. I was stuck in the hallway freaking out because of the noise. They sent me home after my shot because they said it wasn't an emergency anymore, even though my eyes were still rolling. The next day, I related this to my NP and she was horrified!! She prescribed Benztropine so I wouldn't have to go back to the ER, and lowered the dose of my AP because she said the higher dose might be triggering the episodes. She also gave me a other anxiety med to take since that's one of my triggers. All in all, it was a very stressful week. The highlight was my anniversary with my husband. We celebrated 13 years together, and I made shrimp alfredo from scratch!! I hope next year will be more fortuitous. I have faith that things can only get better!! Have a great rest of your day, y'all!! Never count yourself out. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, I'm so excited to share some pictures with you from my mini vacation!! It was a very fun 3 days, and I'm sad I'm back to the monotony that is my everyday life. I ate some yummy food, but unfortunately it rained so we couldn't do many outdoor activities. We will see if we can do something again next year!! My eyes did roll at the beginning of the trip, but luckily I was in the car most of the time. I did go to the ER on Friday because the eye rolling was so bad I couldn't take it anymore. My anxiety has been through the roof ever since I moved in with my mom. I will talk with my NP next week about what's going on and see if she'll prescribe Benztropine since it's the only thing I can take that will stop my eyes from rolling. Have a great rest of your day, y'all!!! Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so make the most of today. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, I'm getting ready to go on my mini vacation! I'm nervous because I'm scared my eyes will roll back, but my NP told me to listen to calming music and mediate to help with my anxiety since that is my trigger. I had one episode earlier this week already, but I will stay in the hotel room if need be. I don't want it to dampen my spirits. I have started doing odd jobs on the side, and it has boosted my morale and intellectual capacity since I'm using my brain again!! The first job was stressful, but I think I will get the hang of things by the second job. Today is all about preparing for tomorrow's journey, so I'm glad I've already charged my headphones and packed my clothes and inhaler. Have a great rest of your day guys. Stay safe, happy and healthy!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

P.S. - I've been in a hat wearing mood lately!!! 🤠

Hey y'all, it's been an interesting week. The vraylar is doing wonders for the voices, but the eye rolling is still persistent. I think I'm stuck with it forever, but it's not as bad as it used to be. My back and leg pain won't subside either, but icy hot and pain meds are keeping me sane. I went to a BBQ at my cousin's house for 4th of July yesterday. We had burgers, chili dogs, potato salad and guacamole with chips!!! For dessert: watermelon and a lovely Vietnamese dish I suck at explaining...think cubed jello and chia seeds with ice and coconut milk. I am off yet again to the grocery store because my husband eats like a horse and my appetite has also unfortunately increased lately. I hope y'all have a great rest of your day!!! I hope your thoughts are safe and sound; that's all we can ask for. Xoxoxoxoxoxo

P.S. - Helen says hello!! 💚

Hey y'all, what a week it's been!!! My mom and I will be going on a mini vacation with a family friend in a couple of weeks. My back and legs are still aching, so I'm worried I won't be able to go!! My meeting with the NP went well, but somehow my mom made it all about her and was ranting. My NP had to steer the conversation back to me, hahahahaha!!!! I'm still hearing voices and the paranoia looms, so now I'm taking the max dose of Vraylar. Crossing my fingers my physical and mental health will get better. Here's me getting ready to run errands in this terrible heat. Hope y'all enjoy the rest of your day!!!! Stay safe!! Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Today is a tough day for me. Father's Day used to be a day of celebration. I lost my father 5 years ago, but it feels like just yesterday I was with him in the hospital. I don't like when people say it gets easier to deal with a loved one's passing. It never gets easier. The pain is always there; an ache that never goes away. I hope those who celebrate cherish their father's. Know that you are loved beyond measure, daddy. As for other life stuff, I'm struggling with voices when I get stressed. My eyes start rolling a bit, and the anxiety is awful. I see my NP next week, so hopefully we can find something to help mitigate these occurences!!! Have a great rest of your day, y'all. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, hope you're doing well!!! I hurt my back, so I haven't been able to work out at the gym. Even walking hurts, so I made an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to see what's going on. I think I might need physical therapy!! I keep thinking my mom will nag me forever, because she's so impatient and likes things done a certain way. I miss having my own apartment, but I do like having help getting things done. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live on my own again, but I'm lucky that my family is so supportive. Have a great rest of your day, guys!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, what a week it's been!! I had my last meeting with the personal trainer, and I'm still recovering from the session. I was starting to hear voices while we were working out, so we had to take a break. She was very understanding about it and talked it out with me. Afterwards, everything went smoothly. My mom and I are getting along better, but we still have tense moments when I do something she doesn't like. I have never met anyone as impatient as my mom. We've been doing family therapy, and my mom told me she has things she wants to talk to the therapist about. I'm worried she's going to criticize me even more. I am grateful to have somewhere to live that's stable, though. If I didn't have my family, I would definitely be homeless. Wishing y'all a great rest of your Sunday!!! Be well, xoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, what a week it's been! I finally finished moving, so I've been sleeping much better now that I have a bed. My mom and I have been in contention for a bit, but things are settling down. I've also started my sessions with a personal trainer! They're kicking my butt right now, but I shall persevere!!! I went to my niece's graduation party last night, and ate some yummy Italian food. There's a pool party later today for her birthday, and I'm excited because I can fit into my swimsuit!!! I've been so busy that physically and mentally I'm exhausted, but since I'm sleeping well I'm able to cope better. Wishing y'all an awesome rest of your day!! Thanks for reading!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey y'all, hope you're doing well. I'm in the process of moving back in with my mom, so things have been chaotic. On a good note, I have taken the first step on my fitness journey and went to the gym!!! I have a personal trainer and everything to keep me accountable. I am not only trying to lose weight, but to get fit for health reasons. It will definitely help with my joints!! I'm really excited and I'm already changing my diet. Crossing my fingers I can maintain this because I really want to push myself and do better in life. Wishing y'all all the best!!! Enjoy the rest of your day!!! Oh, and I got a haircut 😆😆😆

Hey y'all, what a week it's been!! I'm having trouble sleeping again, so I've been at my mom's house trying to recuperate to no avail. I hope once I'm done moving, the bed will make a difference and I can sleep better. My birthday is in 2 days!!! My allergies have been murder so I'm hoping I'm well by Tuesday!! On a lighter note, we made egg rolls for the family! Boy, they are delicious. I wish I could share some with everyone here. I hope y'all have a great rest of your day!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxo