Free Audible Codes: Measure the Left Foot Twice (cozy monster-folk romantasy, kisses only)
Author here. I wrote this one under the pen name Michael Howell, and I have a handful of free Audible US codes for it: Measure the Left Foot Twice, Book One of The Last Cobbler. Comment below and I'll DM you a code while they last. US Audible accounts only, sorry.
Heads up before you grab one: the narration is AI-generated (Kokoro TTS), not a human narrator. I'd rather you know up front so nobody's surprised.
What it's about:
Wendell Pike arrives in the border town of Thistlewick with eleven shillings, a cobbler's kit and his dead master's old wooden shoe last. The town has a law that no creature may enter unless it comes shod, and there's a lamia at the gate who has been turned away for nine years because nobody will take her order. So he kneels in the mud and measures her.
From there it's a tail boot argued before the town council, a centaur courier who refuses to be weighed, a master weaver with eight legs and strong opinions about his stitching, plenty of pies, and a town that does not thank him.
It's for you if you like:
- Cozy fantasy with real stakes but no grimdark
- A craftsman hero who solves problems with his trade
- Monster-folk heroines who are nobody's sidekick
- Slow-burn romance, kisses only
- Small-town politics and gentle humor
About 61,000 words, roughly 5 hours of listening.
All I ask is an honest rating or review if you finish it, good or bad. Feedback on the narration is welcome too.