Breaking Through the Shame
A couple of months ago, I made a post about struggling to reach out and contact my BP after separation and 2 months from D-Day. I’m excited to share that I have broken through that shame and have found the courage to reach out to them to check in and to get clarity on whether my contact was helpful to them.
Understandably, they could not give me a definitive answer, but was okay with me checking in. Since that conversation, I’ve been balancing their request for space with the occasional check in text.
Through my work in IC (shout-out IFS), I can feel the fog of shame lifting and feel more comfortable initiating contact with BP. I want to remind my BP of the love and care I still have for them and the relationship, as I’ve read hearing this from the WP can be healing for BP.
Given that I still want to respect my BP’s agency and request for space, I’d love to hear perspectives from BPs and WPs about whether this could be healing or seen as emotionally flooding.
Additionally, do you have any signs you/your WP was “breaking free” of the shame of the betrayal?