u/LimeranceFeline

15 tianeptine + alpha GPC capsules, 2000mg of 7OH in a pill bottle, and 2 packs of the Krox boutique fruit punch capsules (supposedly a dissociative RC? i'm taking them tonight)

so i just recently binged 21 1mg klonopin and ran out last night. stayed up for 27+ hours on benzedrex and klonopin combo then passed out without even realizing it last night. felt depressed and rebound effects from the Kpins when i got to work (i always forget benzos make my depression worse especially if i binge them) but then i realized i had $320 and conjured up an idea: uber to my favorite vape shop that was 2 miles from my job and spend a lot. you see, im almost 24 but due to past drug issues, whenever i need to go to a vape shop for a nic disposable my mom forces me to let her go in with me so i don't buy kratom/7OH/mushroom stuff etc. but during my 30 min lunch break i got a $7 uber over and spent $200. i gave the guy $30 over venmo too to bring me back to my job because its VERY hard to get ubers in my area normally, and he was okay with it. i still have plenty of money, and get paid weekly, so its no big deal. the build up to my lunch and getting these turned my day around completely and i finished my shift on a chipper note. during my 15 min break near the end of my shift, i took 2 of the tia capsules and 50mg of the 7OH and it made me much happier. excited to try the Krox tonight, ive taken 4 capsules from 1 pack a few months ago but didnt feel much. hoping tonight's different. thanks for reading

SORRY IN ADVANCE I AM ON BENZEDREX AND KLONOPIN AND WANNA RAMBLE FEEL FREE TO IGNORE

i miss hvaing access to normal drugs and an ability to get mail (tl;dr despite being almost 24 i live with parents due to shitty economy and autism and they forcefully open all of my mail and ban me from the mailbox when theyre home because of my past ordering lsd and xanax off the onions. i know its ilegal i gave up. cant get a PO Box because the post office is 15 mins car ride over a mountain and im working on getting my license) been doing OTCs a lot recently bbut miraculously managed to sneak ketamine into the house via mail a handful of times and they were all glorious experiences.

been loving propylhexedrine (extracted, never eat the cottons, and i only do 1 a day when i have them and cantget them very often), and when i get a chnace i like getting 7OH. my mom forces me to let her come in with me when i go to vape shops to buy a nic disposable because she hates kratom and 7OH and headshop highs, but sometimes when we go to a town where she gets massages frequently (she has back problems) theres a corner store that sells packs of up to 1000mg 7OH (5 200mg tablets for $55) i know theyre underdosed and very overpriced but due to my circumstances its the best i got. i havent done 7OH in like a month because i havetnt had a chance to get it but ya i can live without it, i like getting it as a treat but ill spent $30-$60 on a days worth of being high because i go thru 7oh super fast. mainly to get rid of it to avvoid physical addiction but ya

i have been using dxm again here and there, its the drug i have the most experience with and cherish and have as a whole autistic special interest niche category. dissos are my favorite class hands down; psychs last too long, too big pupils (i know dxm is an outlier to this) and too mindfucking for me to enjoy. i used to adore acid then shrooms but now with my heavy nightly olazapine and mirtazapine doses i dont feel much at all. but im fine with that. the meds have helped me take a total 180 from my past self; night and day. i used to be extremely toxic and rageful and suicidal at the drop of a hat, but after being at rehab for benzos use for 5 months and getting on proper medcation and medically advised testosterone gender affirming HRT (i DIYed it for 4 months and admittedly didnt know what i was doing to take care of myself regarding it)

ive been super careful about benzos. after rehab slipped back into pot and alcohol and my parents have )admittedly poorly) enabled this but wont let me do anything else which is understandable. but ive been using since 16 (turn 24 may 27) and can mask being high quite well and time my dosing times to not interfere with family, plus im very secliuded in the house.

but yesterday i managed to find 21 1mg pharma grade klonopin tablets (i bought these spring 2024 got caught and had them taken away. assumed they were flushed) and ive been taking 1-2 here and there. i want them done with so i dont fall trap to benzo addiction deeply once more

i also found 2 10mg valiums that are expired, and took one yesterday and one before work today. made work very fast and awesome and i wasnt intoxicated, but kinda forgetful sometimes.

my job (im grocery store bakery and i adore it massively) is at a grocery store but they dont sell benzedrex, but across the street theres a CVS and even though theres no crosswalk and its a busy street, whenever i get a 30min lunch during work i RUN the fuck over there when traffic lulls and get some then RUN again. the other day i tried buying the last 3 benzedrex but the lady told me only 1 could be soold which whatever. but today ii found 2 and took them to self checkout and did it in 2 transactions and it worked perfectly

i got home and extracted 1 rod in small mountain dew and shook vigorously for 20 mins. usually id wait 1-3+ hours, but i wanted to tweak tonight becase tmrw off. i took 3mg klonopin too

i meant to draw and be creative but im loistening to club dj mixes, looking into very very very obscure lost media that only i remember, and dicking around. but i feel amazing. i know i shouldnt be doing this, it feels bad in my guts, but im too autistic about drugs to stop despite 5 months of rehab and almost 6 months clean (longest time since 15)

i miss stims a lot. i love them a lot. i go thorugh periods of preferrring stims, then downers rinse and repeat. dxm ive done 250+ times at this point, 1/4ths of my use being for killing time at work ( i usually close at stores when working) but most other tmes being lost in my bed and having the music im listening to turn into a concert in my room. i prefer ketamine a billion times more than dxm nowadays, but its so much harder to get. normally my dxm trips near the end/after peak trigger my ocd about my family members and children in a horrifying way and i get really really scared. my first 25-50 trips were beyond magical, cevs i could control and music becoming ballroom esque.but whenever i take dxm now i most of the time get sick.i relasped with delsym a buncg at my job before my current one because i was in a plaza with a walmart and could go there on my lunches and chug them in the bathroom then return for th lst 2-3 hours of myshift. however, i had a beautiful glorious magical trip recently for the first time in a really long time, that special place and nostalgic warm hum. i saw the most beautiful things about love and my future. this rarely happens now

my tolerance is gacked, from abusing pcp analogs in binges (3HOPCE 3CLPCP FXE), 5+ grams of K in 2 months (mostly injected IM), and obviously 250+ dxm trips ranging from 120mg to 1350mg. my sweet spot nowadays is 600 mg then a 240-300mg redose later, but i dont use it much anymore because i still feel vomitty from it a lot. 600mg is like, low-med or maybe even high 2nd/3rd plateau, depends on if ive eaten and how fast i take it. i have a mytsical low 4th plat trip that i meantioned in the last paragraph, but when i tried to recreate it a few days later, same dose, it wasnt as much.

im trying to quit dxm alltogether and just switch to normal ass dissos and ket (i know about ket bladder damage and i have bladder issues even before the ket got introduced to me so i gotta be super careful) once i get my drivers license and a aPO box. ive been working again and its been the best job ive ever had, and im actually a lowkey workaholic now (which i never thought id say because i used to struggle with holding downa job due to autism ocd cptsd and bipolar) i made it 10 months without dxm from aug 2024-june 2025. my body is starting to recognize dxm as poison like how it detects dph as poison now (even 100-200mg doses make me have horrific nausea and vomiting) but instead dxm makes me piss literally every 5 mins when coming up even though i take pills with minimal water and dont drink much. a lot comes out each time too. really bugs me

anyways idk where i was going w this? im geeked onn PPX and Kpins and decided to air some thoughts. i shoulda posted this on my blogspot but sigh whatever. if u read this far ily have a good day but even if not ur great