Ex wife abusive husband
Throwaway account.
Location: Utah
I divorced my ex a few years ago. She’s since remarried, roughly a year or so ago. We have two children together.
My eldest child has recently revealed (to me, my mother and one of my close friends who is a woman) some things that her stepfather has been doing. It sounds like he is cheating on their mom. He’s a control freak with over the top punishments. For example, he forced my kids ( 7-13 y/o) to watch him shoot farm animals and gut them, even though they didn’t want to watch. To me this is abuse, but I’m not sure legally it counts.
When they come stay with me they often cry and don’t want to go back. They love their mom and feel protective of her, but feel like she is choosing him over them.
My friend, they feel comfortable with, asked them if they are safe or if he has hurt them. Thankfully they say he hasn’t touched them but they do feel very uncomfortable around him, especially after learning about the cheating and with the punishments getting more extreme.
Currently my ex has sole physical but we have join legal custody. I have a million emotions going through me. I’m angry but don’t want to act irrationally and want to be smart. Does anything I’ve shared give me grounds for some sort of legal action against my ex and her husband? For example, joint physical custody or even getting sole physical custody? I would never keep my kids from their mom (unless it became unsafe).
Any advice is and any enlightenment on what I’m able to do in this situation is appreciated.