I want to kill myself.
Hi everyone. I’m 18. I don’t speak English, so I’m using a translator; please forgive any mistakes.
This is my first post on Reddit, and you know, it’s always been my dream to write something like this before I die and to connect with people so they could hear my story.
I plan to take my own life within the next month; I’m burnt out and no longer see any point in living.
To give you some background: I was with a girl for two years, starting when I was 16; I was living a vibrant, completely new life. Without getting into all the details here, we were together for two years and broke up on April 1st. She has a new boyfriend now, but not long ago—while drunk—she kissed me and told me she loved me. Honestly, that relationship was a huge part of my life, and without it, I feel like I’ve lost myself. I can’t find the energy to work or go out like I used to. Moving to a new city has also had a major impact; I’m struggling to process anything at all. Right now, I’m living like a robot, and I’m just tired of it.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I have a heart condition and health issues in general; because I’m constantly worrying and bottling up my anxiety, I sometimes black out.
I’d like to hear your questions; if anyone is interested, I can tell the story in more detail.