r/Dying

God all I wanna do is kill myself

I do almost every sin

Lust

Greed

Gluttony

Pride

Sloth

Envy

Wrath

I'm so tired I sometimes beg god just to take me as I don't get why I'm here I feel so empty and tired

It's almost as if a empty glass that cracked

I had tried to find my other half

But most people want more of a body then a soul

It's pitiful truly

All I want in life is to feel that warmth I felt

I felt it when I was walking back home oneday from the house my mom was dog sitting at

When I had walked down the steps a lil dogs tounge had greeted me as it's owner was walking it it was so excited to see me even though I'm a stranger I pet it it felt so warm

That day was so bright beautiful

And wonderful

Somedays I wonder how others must feel to miss such beauty as I'm inside almost daily

I always believed being on your device takes away from so much beauty of nature that's sacred

That's why I wish I respected and loved myself more

That's why I guess deep down I wish I actually saw myself as a human instead of a sinful monster I really do dislike it sometimes

This version of myself is so empty a well that's dried up

I remember I always used to be positive and bounce back now I'm just a mess and tired

I wish I could smoke and do something to drown how I feel but my god could I write so many poems of how depressed I am

I also sometimes believe I have other people inside me as I blank out or zone out or lose balance sometimes or often

It's rather tiring lol

Now why I'm here if anyone has advice or a way to get out of this or something or relates? Eh lmk

Might as well reedits a pretty neat place sometimes

My name is Stephanie. I'm 28 years old from the Philippines, and I've been unemployed for almost a year.

Every morning, I wake up and immediately start looking for work. I spend hours applying on job sites, sending emails, reaching out to potential clients, and continuously improving my resume and portfolio. I've taken online courses, learned new skills, and even offered to work first before getting paid just to prove that I'm capable. Despite all of that, I still haven't been given a chance.

The hardest part isn't the rejection anymore—it's the silence. You start wondering if you're simply not good enough.

I have experience as a Virtual Assistant, e-commerce product lister, administrative support, customer support, and data entry. I'm willing to learn anything and do any honest remote work. I'm not looking for a high salary. I just want enough to survive and support my family.

The reason I'm searching specifically for remote work is because I can't leave my parents.

Both of them are senior citizens and persons with disabilities. My mother was born with a clubfoot condition, and my father has Parkinson's disease. They both depend on me for their daily care. Because of their condition, relocating for work or being away from home isn't a realistic option for me.

Some days, I feel trapped between two responsibilities. I want to earn a living, but I also can't abandon the people who spent their lives raising me. They need me, and I need to find a way to support them without leaving them behind.

There are days when I quietly worry about whether we'll have enough for food or our daily expenses. I don't usually talk about these things because I've always wanted to solve my problems on my own. But after months of trying everything I know, I realized there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

I'm not here to beg for money.

I'm simply asking if anyone knows of legitimate remote jobs, freelance opportunities, or if anyone is looking for someone reliable who is willing to work hard. Even sharing this post, referring me to someone hiring, or pointing me in the right direction would mean more than you can imagine.

I promise that if someone gives me an opportunity, I'll do everything I can to prove that your trust wasn't misplaced.

Thank you for reading my story. I truly hope that one day I can come back to this post—not to ask for help anymore, but to thank the people who helped me through one of the hardest seasons of my life.

Writing this is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

If anyone is willing to help financially, no matter how small, please know that I don't see it as something I'm entitled to. I see it as kindness that I will never forget. My goal isn't to depend on others—it's simply to get through this difficult chapter until I can stand on my own again.

If you're not comfortable giving without expecting anything in return, I completely understand. If my situation improves, I will do my best to pay you back in the future. And if you're not in a position to help financially, I would still be incredibly grateful if you could share this post or connect me with any legitimate remote work opportunities.

Even being heard means more than you know.

Planned my suicide

Before people judge. I don't have anxiety, I dont have depression or severe mental health.

I do however have chronic debilitating illnesses such as POTS and EDS, I lost my house I worked my whole life for due to a house fire last year and I have two beautiful children aged 13 and 10, I am 32

I cannot put into words my life, and my story. It's too much. I can only say the things I have been through are completely beyond what most humans can endure, for many many years in physical, emotional and mental torture.

I have tried twice before and got saved by paramedics and antidodes. Today I have planned to book a hotel 7 days from today, so I'm not around my loved ones to find me, and to overdose.

This fills me with absolute pure sadness as I would love nothing more than to live. I love life. I love my children more than anything. But my illnesses and situations make it where I cannot continue, and it is better off for them and for me to just go.

How do I put this into words for my loved ones? I am looking to spend my last day with my baby's, doing everything they want before going to a hotel and doing my last act. My biggest worry is making sure I articulate my letter the best I can, it's not about that I dont love them, I love them beyond words. I NEED them to know that. I need them to realise nothing about my decision was in lack of love for them, so I need to articulate this well as I obviously wont be able to converse after.

I need to go though, for everyone's sake.

i'm not a suicidal person, but unfortunately, I don't see any changes happening to my life, and i do plan on killing myself soon. unfortunately my situation at home is a mess My mom is a grown ass woman and needs help paying everything and now i'm stuck doing everything. I make minimum wage as a medical assistant. Barely anything hits my pay. and not to mention I get paid twice a month. I have a lot of credit card debt. I don't drive. I don't have a car. I can't save up for a car. I Uber to work and it's so expensive. I'm stuck so if things don't look up in the next couple of weeks. this is my last goodbye I am not living a life that i don't want. It's not fair how other parents don't ask their kids for anything and mines to lazy to provide for herself. I've been fixing my résumé in a line of jobs but if by the end of the month, I don't see any changes i'm leaving forever.

it’s crazy how we are all going to be in the ground one day. That we won’t exist anymore. Does anyone else get scared/nervous while thinking about it? How does everyone cope.

I feel so reliefed knowing i have a painless way i figure out to leave. I just wish people wouldnt get hurt by it

Reposting.
I am 32M. I am writing this because the silence in my head is becoming too loud and I just need the world to know that I tried. I fought so hard but the world was just too cruel.

I was born into crushing poverty in a small Asian country. My father was a factory worker making pennies and my mother was a simple gentle housewife. We lived in rented rooms constantly moving because we couldn't afford the rent meaning I never had permanent neighbors or childhood friends. I had three older brothers but when I was just 7 years old all three of them passed away within a short span. I became an only son left with two younger sisters. From that childhood moment I made a silent vow I would never burden my father. Every time I wanted a toy a treat or proper clothes I killed that desire inside me before it could reach my lips. I knew my father couldn't afford it. I was brilliant in school topping my 10th grade despite studying in a neglected neighborhood private school that barely had proper education. But right when I thought my hard work would save us my father suffered his first heart attack. He survived but life became a brutal struggle. When the factory had no work he would go do hard labor for half wages just to buy bread. I never saw him rest.

When college started expenses became unbearable. My father looked at me with broken eyes and told me he couldn't afford it anymore. I quit my regular studies worked part time to finish my 12th grade and then my father suffered a second heart attack. His four main arteries were blocked requiring a massive surgery. We spent every single penny we had to save him. He survived, and I threw myself into full time factory work so my younger sisters could get the education I was denied. I was tall fair and good looking but whenever I liked someone I immediately killed that feeling too. I couldn't even feed myself how could I bring someone’s daughter into this misery? Instead I bought a cheap Chinese bike with my tiny savings. I cleaned it like it was a Ferrari. My poverty couldn't kill my taste I loved quiet premium clean places because they gave me peace. Near our house was an elite sports club. I used to walk there just to stand near the trees and breathe the quietness. The guards fooled by my appearance and clean clothes thought I was the son of some rich man and let me in. For a few hours sitting on that clean grass I would pretend the world was kind to me.

At 27 my family engaged me to a relative. But poverty followed me like a shadow. For two years I couldn't save enough money for a simple wedding or the heavy gold her family demanded so the engagement broke. The house became a battleground of financial stress and everyday arguments. I couldn't bear to see my parents suffer anymore. I took the little money I had saved for my wedding bought a Dubai visit visa and left. Leaving my crying mother was like ripping my own heart out but money that filthy toxic necessity forced my hand. It had humiliated me my whole life. My friends were married driving cars living happy lives and I was just a ghost trying to survive. I landed in Dubai knowing only one person. Because of my good English and appearance I landed a sales job at the Dubai Mall after three months of starving and searching. When they offered me 2,200 AED I thought I had conquered the world.

Then the trap snapped shut. The company took my passport made me sign papers and trapped me. To leave they demanded a 7,000 AED penalty. They turned me into a machine. Eight hours of standing straight fighting competitors lying to customers bearing the screams of a ruthless boss. I stayed for nearly two years because when I sent money home my mother could finally buy new clothes my sisters studying in good colleges. Seeing them happy made the hell worthwhile. I even went back spent everything to marry off my younger sister and returned to Dubai with pride. But I was an honest salesman I hated the lies the company forced on us. I refused to renew my contract. I had 20,000 AED in savings and another job offer. I cancelled my visa joined the new company and they used me for two months without giving me a visa or a single dirham of salary claiming I hadn't closed a sale yet. Then they kicked me out.

By February 2025 I was an overstay illegal. Fines were mounting. Panic set in. I went to an agent handed him 9,000 AED to process a freelance visa quickly. After few days his phone was switched off his office was empty and he vanished with my life savings. I didn't give up. I gave interviews and actually got 5 job offers But the system crushed me again. Some companies backed out because of my overstay fines others told me to work a month for free before getting a visa. I was losing my mind. Anxiety and panic attacks became my daily routine. Another friend referred me to a company that promised to clear my fines. I worked for them for 3 months but they paid me nothing gave me no visa and threw me out on the street. I even cleared multiple interviews for Apple but my illegal status dragged me down into the dirt and I was rejected. I hid everything from my parents. If they know the shock will kill my father. To survive I started doing daily wage manual labor terrified every second that the police would arrest and jail me.

I saved 5,000 AED from that backbreaking labor and applied for an evisa to seek a fine waiver. Three times I applied three times it was rejected. The visa expired. Desperate I gave money to people who claimed they had connections 1,000 here 700 there 500 to another. They all blocked my number. Everyone preyed on my weakness. Humans are not humans anymore they are predators waiting for a desperate man to fall. Today my overstay fine stands at 26,000 AED. I haven't paid my room rent in three months. I used to get daily labor but for the last three months there is no work. I am trapped in this room starving completely broken. I never harmed a soul. I killed my own dreams so others could live. I worked honestly. Yet life never gave me a single moment of unadulterated joy. God?My faith is shattered.I didn't ask to come into this world and I wasn't allowed to live on my own terms. I fought with every ounce of my soul but I am officially declaring defeat. I am broken beyond repair. If this life ends I won’t be sad anymore. Maybe just maybe there is finally some peace on the other side of this darkness. Why did this happen to me what was my fault is my greatest sorrow.

I’m 28 years old and I have many problems and I don’t want to live anymore and I’m sick mentally. I’m afraid of where my soul will go and I’m afraid that …..tell me something worth living for . Anything. Please . Anyone . Please .