r/Dying

Just saying, it's like I get up, have breakfast, do something like get groceries, then it's supper and bedtime. I don't know where my days have gone. Is it a sign?

I know I'm going to die soon and it feels weird. My life was so embarrassing looking back now. I have so many regrets and I cry a lot because of the way I looked and how people treated me sometimes. And things I've done or didn't do. People were disrespectful to me a lot. I experienced a lot of trauma but luckily I didn't remember most of it until now. I seriously hope there is no after life because I could not imagine having to think about all the stuff I've been through for an eternity. It's so hard to let go of the bad experiences and missed opportunities and heart aches I've had. I don't want to know I ever existed. Sometimes I wish I would have had a soul mate or something like a bond death can't even break. And Sometimes even though I don't want to be conscious I get afraid knowing that it might just be black forever and then youll never know you existed.. it seems easier that way but really hard to comprehend. I'm just kind of venting here.. spending my last days really sad and regretful and worried about stuff. Have a broken heart. I am scared to die 😔

Five years ago, I overdosed on fentanyl. I shouldn’t have lived.

My friend had to leave me to find a phone and call 911. I remember leaving my body and feeling an overwhelming peace and love. Then I woke up again. One of the paramedics told me he’d never seen someone like me come back. He looked concerned and a little scared.

The next day, I ran into the friend who saved me. I wasn’t grateful. I was angry. I told him I was mad at him.

What right did he have to save my life?

That was honestly how I felt.

This really happened.