Meta help needed
I’m going to try to keep this as anonymous as possible, but I need some help with my relationship with my meta. They’re dating my spouse and I’m dating theirs. We all spend time together a decent amount as a group and we also have time alone with our partners. My meta and I’s relationship is strictly platonic.
I’m having trouble with what I feel are relationship expectations. They express often that I need to show that I want a relationship with them and not just my partner, their spouse. We are all friends and hang out as a group. I’ve actually asked them to hang out with me several times (without their spouse), but they prefer to be home so they usually decline, with the exception of one instance where they did something with me without our partner included because I expressed to them how upset it made me feel that they said no initially.
Is it reasonable to behave in such a way and then demand that I show them that they matter to me through other words and actions? I’m struggling to understand.
In my opinion, this is coming from a place of insecurity. When they’re upset with me they tell me that I’m trying to steal their spouse and then tell me all the ways in which I’m not a friend to them so I think it’s less rooted in wanting an actual friendship and more so rooted in feeling insecure.