u/Little_Iron2312

Can we stop all of the stupid posts about how you went to the gym 7 days a week while pregnant and then started going back 1 week postpartum? Or how you went back to work remotely immediately after having a c-section? Or how you finished your phd and walked across the graduation stage with a 4 week old baby? I’m happy for you that it worked out that way and that your body (and your baby) let you do all of that but posts like these come off as so performative and as though everyone else who doesn’t do this is a lazy mom or didn’t push themselves enough. Can we normalize being a couch potato while pregnant and postpartum? It makes so many moms feel bad for not doing enough if they are feeling sick or weak during pregnancy/postpartum. We just birthed a whole human and are responsible for them, why does everything need to be a constant “hustle” or proof that “I ran a marathon 6 months pregnant, you can do it too.”

This is so annoyinggggg you are like 30, why do we need a whole week to celebrate 😭 then for me my parents are over here forgetting what age I’m turning when my birthday happens lmao

TLDR: Boyfriend thinks I need to push myself harder when I feel like I’m already at my limit, I just want to focus on getting comfortable with the motions and he says that is bad for me. I feel like he values ego lifting over proper form.

I’m 23F, 5 ft 5 around 113lb and I want to get started in the gym but my partner and I have been disagreeing on how I need to approach the gym. I’m a pretty cautious person so I’m naturally a bit scared to try going and am afraid of injury. My partner has been wanting me to go to the gym witn him and says I need to just throw myself at exercises more and push until failure, and he’s always trying to throw heavy weights on my sets more than I’m honestly comfortable doing. I can barely even benchpress the bar and don’t have great form which is honestly embarrassing but he insists that I’m “not even trying” and could do heavier weight if I “didn’t hold myself back”. I honestly wish he would just let me do dumbbell press with lighter weights so I could get used to the form and the routine of going to the gym but he says I’ll “never make gains with that mindset.” It’s not like I want to do like 5 lb dumbbells, I just wish he’d be okay with me doing like 15lb on each arm so I can get good at that consistently before trying the bar again. He tells me that I’m “not trying” but honestly I feel like I’m doing more than I really need. He always coaches me in the gym and whenever I get to the end of a set where I’m winded and tired he coaches me to “keep doing more because that was too easy” even when I’m already too tired and sore to keep going.

I understand thet he’s a total gym rat who is completely fearless when it comes to heavy weights, but I just feel so confused. I try to ask him if I can just keep doing sets at a weight I feel like I know I can handle, aka being heavy enough to where I can feel the burn and risk getting tired but also light enough to where I don’t feel just completely nervous to try a 1 rep. I understand that you have to push yourself, but how hard is too hard? I don’t know much about the gym but I personally find that you shouldn’t always be having to find your total heavy limit and instead should focus on the motion and feeling like you can get quality reps in instead of bad form. He tells me that I don’t get low enough on high bar squat and I tell him that I think it is too heavy for me and he says “no that’s not true”. I feel embarrassed when I go with him because I feel like everyone can see that he’s honestly being pretty mean to me in the gym and I would rather someone try to encourage me and give me a comfortable environment instead of making me push so hard.

One time I benched the bar 3 times (which was hard enough for me) and tried to re-rack the weight after 3 reps and he put his hand up and told me I couldn’t stop. I told him I was getting weak and scared of dropping the weight and he got frustrated with me and said that I could totally do it but just needed to “actually try”. I don’t like being treated like I’m just being lazy. I’m a former competitive ice skater and used to dabble with tennis, softball, and distance running as well, so I’m not just a couch potato who doesn’t want to exercise. How do I get him to understand that he’s being harsh? He says that if I get a female personal trainer then she would just “enable me” and that it wouldn’t help me. I’m at a loss. Besides the gym drama my boyfriend does not act like this in any other aspect of our relationship.

Why is it just a common thing for people to be like “ew you’re a Swiftie? That’s trash taste in music” or never being allowed to queue up a Taylor song in the car/parties/jukebox when you’re in a group but yet everyone else gets to play what they want. Why is hating Taylor Swift such a personality trait? I honestly think people would like her more if they kept an open mind instead of just assuming that all of her music is “trash”. I wish people would stop so much extreme hate of her music and treat her like any other artist. Why can’t people be like “Oh yeah I don’t really listen to her but if you wanna queue up some Taylor songs then sure” instead of “ewwwwwww gross no we are not gonna listen to Taylor Swift we only listen to real music.” Why do people treat listening to music like it’s some moral highground to NOT be a Swifitie? I don’t get it 😂

Seriously. Why not just go to the courthouse and get married? What is the reason for remaining unmarried if you have kids, are in love, and have been together for years?

I hate being like 25 years old going on vacation with my also 25 y/o bf being told that we cannot share a hotel room because we aren’t married. Why would I pay $1000 for plane tickets and take off work for vacation and even accept the invite if I have to share a room with his 18 year old cousins who have never met me? What is this, church camp? I want to share a bed with my BOYFRIEND on vacation because that is my PARTNER and I want to relax with him. People need to mind their own business. We are grown, if we’re going to fool around and be intimate, that’s on us as grown adults. Sorry but if you’re above the age of like 21 your family is not allowed to tell you that you “can’t share a bed with your boyfriend”. Do not impose your own moral standards on me and my partner and try to micromanage our ability to have private couple time on vacation.