This divorce was so much more insane than it needed to be
TL;DR My divorce was maddening for no good reason, and I realize I don’t know anyone IRL who can relate.
Hi all. (28M ex is 27F) (she was a covert narcissist)
I’ve recently finalized my divorce. And as I gain distance from the divorce, I’m realizing how absolutely batshit it was.
I talk to other people who have been divorced, and they talk about how hard it is, but usually it’s hard because of the loss of the relationship, or custody of kids.
We had no kids. Decent amount of money. And I was willing to give her majority (60-70%).
I spent a year and a half in hell. I was stonewalled for the first few months. Every time I talked to her and began to come to something close to an agreement she would panic. She even admitted what she was asking for would set herself up for abundance of success and harm me for years, but she was okay with that.
During the process, I couldn’t get angry at her. I always had some kind of understanding for her. Now the details are starting to piss me off.
- We went in front of a judge 3 times for temporary orders instead of negotiating.
- She lied about me spending $30,000 on a Europe vacation.
- She freaked out about the realtor I picked to sell a house neither of us lived in and I couldn’t afford anymore
- She fucked herself over to burn both of us down (she got a way worse deal than I offered initially)
- She wrote on a label maker of mine <[my name] 🖕>
I’m on anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication now. I’m tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I’m so scared to interact with the world. I get migraines now.
None of this makes sense. And I wanted to write all this out to see if there’s anyone else out there who relates. I’m sure there is, but I haven’t found any IRL. I think it would be awesome to truly find someone to empathize with