u/Littlesoldier93

Hello, everything is in the title. I have seen quite some stories about people that were fence sitters that finally chose parenthood, which is helpful for a lot of people to make a choice, but I have not seen a lot of « nice » stories about people who chose to be CF and have no regrets (even after being 40/50 for example).

I would like to see some, if anyone want to share their story.

Thank you

Dear fencesitters, I was redirected to you by the Daddit sub as I didn’t this one existed.

My post is a bit more edited than the original.

I (M29) can’t decide if I want kids or not, maybe I am trying to convince myself with optimism or hiding my head in the sand that I don’t want them.

Here is the context, my lady (F29) really wants some, she knows it since forever and never hid it.

We have no real issue in our couple, she owns her flat (under debt but still), we have close friends, our families are good to each other and I like my in-laws, they are close and could help us if we have kids, stable situation and everything ticked nicely on the paper.

But, here are the points that make me think I am not brave enough to have some kids :

- When I was little, I liked to hang out with older people maybe more than people my age

- I like to control my environnement even if it’s just to sort of waste my days playing video games are doing sports to maintain my health

- I tend to avoid responsibilities I can avoid (at work mostly) but I know if the needs come that I am reliable and responsible though

- the city we live in is quite expensive and buying even a small house would really put pressure on me mentally (I want to be able to tell myself that it case of crisis even a minimum wage job would be enough to finish buying our place using also all the money I have aside)

- I have a few infants around me (2yo nephew, 4months godson, 1 month friend’s child) but it doesn’t click to put myself in the place of their parents at least for now, even though sometimes you can see what brings them joy to care for them

- I am a bit afraid of the world we live in and what is going to happen in the future

The biggest point in addition to that is :

My lady has lots of health issues (hypercardiac, endometriosis, vascular issues, had ovarian cysts, inflamed spine nerves (best specialized surgeon had no solution) , and other stuff…)

I don’t believe she would be able to bear a child, her body would not allow it, and even if it did, the mother’s body always take a toll during pregnancy and after, which I am really afraid of.

I don’t want to risk having to care for her even more, in case she gets paralyzed or stuff like this + taking care of a child, it seems too much.

And I wouldn’t like to raise a kid alone, if the worst happens, even with good people around me.

I need your advices, I don’t want to throw 4 years of relationship in the trash, I thought it would come naturally to me and her health would get better but it is not the case. The decision is so hard, thank you for reading

Bonjour à tous, j’ai acheté une veste qui finalement est arrivée avec des défaut (accros, taches etc) alors qu’elle était sensé être neuf sans étiquette.

Le vendeur agressif et de mauvaise foi m’a traité d’arnaqueur lorsque je lui ai dit que le produit était non conforme à sa description, m’a indiqué que finalement la taille c’est parce que c’était pour femme et du coup pas bon (je cherchais du M homme, c’était finalement du S femme) donc aucun rapport et que des embrouilles pour justifier chaque problème avec la veste.

Malgré tout, il accepte de reprendre la veste, je renvoi donc le colis à mes frais (super la protection des acheteurs au passage), et finalement il n’est pas allé le chercher, donc je ne me fais toujours pas rembourser cette escroquerie.

Quel recours y a t-il ? Ça vous ai déjà arrivé