u/Live_Butterscotch928

I have had my mother’s wedding dress since I got married close to 30 years ago. My grandmother handmade it for her. I’ve moved this treasure and hung on to it because it’s beautiful, meaningful and I’ve felt responsible for it. It’s truly a lovely gown in a unique style, but of course showing its age—never properly cleaned nor really properly stored. So, today I packed it up and donated it to a thrift store with a mission I care about, along with a copy of a photograph of my mom in the dress. I am hopeful a happy bride can bring it new life. I honor my grandmother whose vision and talent created it and I honor the excellent taste and beauty of my mother. My grandmother was never one to waste anything so I think she would be proud that it’s no longer wasting away in my closet. She’d probably ask me why I’ve waited so damned long to move it out!

Being a print graphic designer who never had a website, I have tons of physical samples of work I designed: books, letterhead, business cards, t-shirts with branding that I created, ads, etc. etc. I have digital images of a lot of work but certainly not all. Some projects I loved, some I didn’t.

While I am not yet retired from working, I am pretty old and don’t see myself showing any of this work to gain future employment. Freelancing may still be on the table in the future if I should need the income. I might, at that point, have to create a website. That is the only scenario where I might need any of this work.

The issue: I am struggling with tossing all this evidence of my life’s work. Granted, most of what I’ve created IS inherently disposable. I guess I am feeling as though tossing it all will make me feel like “what have I been doing all my life?” If I destroy the evidence how do I (or anyone) know I contributed? I existed?

I really do understand that what I produce or create is not ME. I want to declutter this work because I do not want to move all these boxes if/when I decide to downsize. I am asking for some outside perspective to help me let go!

Was just finally granted POA after dad realized that spending indeterminate time in skilled nursing recovering from stroke and being without hearing aids for a couple months means he needs help with his financials. He literally can’t talk on the phone until hearing aids are delivered in 2-3 weeks.

I don’t have all the details of every bill that is in the mix yet but he is behind on a couple credit cards and has debt he cannot pay. I paid his rent last month and he’s mad at me because he doesn’t want me spending my money. He also gave an iPhone away that he still owes hundreds on. I should find out soon what his bank account holds but all he gets is social security.

I want to call his creditors to tell them “90 year old guy on fixed income recovering from stroke” but is that enough to get them to stop calling? I don’t want to make any deals or commitments yet because I don’t have the full picture. And even then, on a payment plan, I can’t imagine resolving the debt. He’s 90. Time to collect anything is severely limited.

Would really appreciate any advice from someone who has had to navigate dealing with debt for a parent who clearly has lost sight of their financial situation. Note: my name is not on any of his accounts. I cannot he held liable for his debt.