I hooked my sex toys up to AI because my husband won't have sex with me. Dead bedroom of 9 years.
I've tried initiating. I've tried talking to him for many years. We've tried pills. There is nothing wrong with his lab work. It must be psychological. He hasn't been able to perform with anyone and I knew that going in.
First year, I was supportive. "Us against the problem." I was encouraging, initiating, didn't blame him.
Second year, start noticing some issues. Like his promises of working out, eating healthier? He would try for a week and then stop. (We didn't know what the problem was, but so long as he actually tried, I was fine)
Third year, we started arguing more about the intimacy problem.
Fourth year, my self confidence tanked. We nearly broke up.
Fifth year, I tried being supportive again.
Sixth through ninth year-I settled. After getting turned down so often from him, I no longer desire to have sex with him.
Guess that makes me a cogsucker.